Samantha's Hero

by Samantha Louise Roberts
(Malvern)


This year I've had the world year of my life ( 2011 ) so in August is this, I was feeling very suicidal and no hope for the future, then on the 18th August I had a sudden surge of happiness, I felt happier than I did than I ever thought I could remember. At just past 5:15pm, i had sudden chest pains, now i usually have a bit of asthma but i'd never knew pain like this and felt really tired so thought of having an early night, time past and it came to 2am where i'd still had the pain but i was no longer tired.. something was keeping me awake, at 2:30am i had a gut feeling that somebody was coming to tell me bad news, i didn't know why but i just thought it will pass, then at 3am, there was a knock at the door, the police came and said ' I'm sorry but something has happened to your father ' immediately thought oh god what's he done now, he was always a joker and a rebel at the best of times, but then they told me to sit down, i took one look into there eyes and knew straight away they weren't joking and automatically said ' He's gone isn't he, he's gone.. it's a heart attack?! ' they said ' I'm sorry Samantha but your Dad has been in a tragic accident at work and is no longer with us ' Now i usually cry at anything but for the first time in my life, i remained numb and couldn't say a word, they started talking but it all just blurred out and the only thing i could think of was i was ment to be with my Daddy now if it weren't for the work to the house ' i couldn't think straight and the only person i wanted to be with was my Sister, Going there, i told her and all i could say was i'm sorry but i don't know how to tell you this.. She say's the stuff like what is the time etc, but all i could say was ' Dad.. and i froze i couldn't speak, so all i said was, ' Dad's dead ' she burst out crying and thought i was joking.. which was understandable but once i sat her down and explained she knew i wasn't joking. She then went to bed, i stayed up as i know i couldn't sleep i then went and slept on the door step where i just looked up at the sky and just one tear came from my face.. and the chest pain was gone! It came to 6am and i went to Tim who is like a second father to me and not only that but like my Daddy's brother.. he too had chest pain and i then told him and he went.. he suddenly said ' my chest pain is gone, i think your Dad was trying to tell me something before you got here ' i said ' i too had that pain and it went when i got told.. i sat then just stared at the clock ticking.. thinking every second that goes past is a second longer without Daddy.. i was due to have a big day ahead but then cancelled all my plans.. i just went through my head who i had to tell, the first was Granddad and because it was his son i had to tell him first but it was going to be the hardest, Now Granddad has been very ill for the past year and i didn't have a clue how i was going to tell him, i did and it broke my heart because i wasn't close to Granddad but he just stood their and not a word to say he just hugged me and i felt his pain go through me, i then went round all of Malvern telling everyone i thought i could think of as i knew Dad was popular, the next few day's were a blur, police calls etc, then one day i had a phone call from the national paper and BOOM it went global.. they wanted a tribute to who Dad was and what i wanted to say, it was then put all over the news, reached the BBC and everyone started doing thing's for him, memorials, flowers, friend's getting together just celebrating his life, this went on for weeks ai was so busy at this time i didn't have time to even think what was going on, it then got to my Birthday where it suddenly hit me, no card from Daddy ' i came crashing down .. it is now the 30th November and Shock, denial.. all the 7 stages of grief, people tell me.. ' i thought it would of gotten a bit better for you now ' but there so far from the truth, the truth is, there are no words to describe the pain, i had so much guilt and the worst thing is i always believed life after death.. now i don't, because Daddy would of been back now as he never left my side so matter how bad our lives got, that's the thing that hurts the most, the fact he's gone and i'm never going to see him again

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