Sammy was A Gift From Heaven

by Janet
(Roselle, IL)

I lost my precious Sammy (cat) who was my baby boy, partner, best friend and total soul mate. He passed a little over 3 mos ago and I still can't get it in my mind that he is gone. We went through so much together, he was given to me as a stray at 5 1/2 mos old. He was with me as I took care of my mother with Alzheimer's disease. He kept such an eye on her and even mourned her for 6 mos after she passed. He just ate, used his litter and would lay across her bed. After 6 mos he was Sammy again and began running all over the house and playing with his toys etc.We had a very hard time after my mom passed because I could not find a job due to the time frame (7 yrs) I cared for her. Employer's would see I didn't work in that length of time and wouldn't hire me. I was foreclosed on but luckily still was able in that time frame to sell the house. Sammy was with me and watched me cry, pace the floor looking for a solution, not sleeping etc. I had absolutely no money to live on and no family that cared. I still managed to some how make sure Sammy was always fed still his healthy food and he was never neglected in anyway. He was my baby and I would do anything to make sure he got what he needed. He got nervous when people would walk through the house for showings & when I began packing after we sold. He would check all the boxes or sit up on them. I took him in my arms and explained how we had to move and that I made sure I found an Apt. with a patio door for him so he could cont. looking out at the squirrels and birds. He would look me in my face and put his paw on my cheek like he totally understood. He was so smart and 80% dog in his actions.We moved on December 24, 2014 and I thought life was finally after going to get smoother for us. I had plans of buying him a cat tree since I couldn't afford one at the house. He never seemed to adjust to the Apt. was I found very odd. Everyone else who had cats told me their cats adjusted to moves in days or a couple weeks at the most. This was now a month and he just wasn't Sammy. I took him to the vet and was told all blood work, U/A, Parasite testing was normal. He was just a tiny bit under weight but was told it was anxiety from the move. One Sat. a week after his tests I found him head pressing in the corner and very disoriented. I scooped him immed. and took him to the vet & they put him under sedation to also check a new swelling between his ears on his forehead. It was biopsied and found to be adenocarcinoma
(it still hurts to even type that word) and that it was very bad and wanted me to make a decision. I said NO he is coming home with me and I am getting him chemo. He came home and bounced back within days to totally normal but I know he still had the cancer. I took him to an oncologist within the week and he began his first chemo Tx. He was doing so well and I really thought he was going to make it and we would have that smooth life he deserved. He passed away in my Apt. one Sunday as he slept about 3 mos later. I have been in total shock since. I was crying and telling him he wasn't suppose to leave me yet and we had a lot to do still. I had him buried in a Pet cemetery along side of a dog I had that died so many years ago.>I go to a Pet Loss Group now to be around others that totally understand what it is like to lose a their animal companion or soul mate as Sammy was. It doesn't help missing him but it helps to talk and know other's are going through the same feelings. I have no one other than this group that understands. I'm so sick of hearing to get another cat or why are you still feeling this way or the stupid looks you get when I tell someone I lost my precious Sammy. It still amazes me that he is not under the table when I watch TV or not by the door like a little dog when I come home. I just can't stop crying for him and still expect him to be on the end of the bed at night. The grief is still so unbearable.

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