by Pamela Hackett
When I was about 6 years old I begged and begged my family to get a dog. Finally they caved in and we rescued one from the Humane Society. Her name was Sandy and she was a mixed breed, kind of resembled a fox and a mini german shepherd mixed together.
That dog became my best friend, I did everything with her, I loved her with all my heart and soul. I moved out of the house when I got a little older, so she stayed at my grandparents and I didn't get to see her as often as I would've liked.
When I was old enough to be on my own I moved back to the area and started spending more time with her. Over the years she developed some type of rare cancer that only about 1% of dogs get and surprisingly, she lived a few years with it. She had a few surgeries but it kept growing back so finally we said enough is enough with the surgeries, it's not fair to her.
It grew back pretty quickly but we got another few years out of her. She grew older, slept alot, acted like she didn't really remember us too well. The other day my grandparents woke up early in the morning and Sandy was having a seizure. It was then that we realized the cancer was finally causing her pain and afraid that she would have another seizure, one even worse than the one she experienced, we decided to put her down. It wouldn't be fair to her to let her suffer anymore.
The entire family went to the vet that day and we were all with her during her last minutes of life. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to experience and it has only been a few days since she has passed. I can't eat, sleep, all I do is cry, it is the worst feeling in the world. I keep shaking her collar with the dog tags just to hear that sound again. I keep imagining that I'm going to walk in a room and she's going to be sound asleep in her little bed.
I don't think this pain will ever go away, no matter how much I believe that she is in a better place. She meant so much to me, I love her so much and it kills me inside to know that I can never hug her again or kiss or her feel her love and comfort.
The night she got put down I took some flowers and went for a walk on the beach. I said a long prayer and threw the flowers into the ocean. When I looked up into the sky I saw a cloud that resembled a perfectly shaped heart. I got this sense of peace when I saw that, like maybe my Sandy girl was telling me everything was ok now and not to worry.
I miss her so much though. I'm going to miss rubbing her belly, that was her favorite. Or how happy she would get when she would see me and she would take off running in the house and do this figure 8 thing around the furniture. I'm going to miss her little grunt noises she would make when she would try and get comfortable at night. I'm going to miss giving her a piece of my leftover food after every meal. I'm going to miss her, period. I love you Sandy! Always and forever! xo
May you rest in peace baby girl. You're my guardian angel now.
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