Save your money, your grandkids may need it in your old age.

by Hannah
(California)

"Save your money, your grandkids may need it in your old age". This was one of my Grandfather's many words of wisdom. When I was an infant our house burnt down, and while they were rebuilding it, I lived with My grandparents. I ended up living with them until I was seven years old, really my whole childhood. Him and my grandmother raised me, taking me to the park, feeding the geese, watching saturday morning cartoons, and teatherball. I lost Grandpa Veon on June 12th, 2011. We were expecting it, he was very old and sick, but I have never experienced such a pain in my life. I almost died from having Type 1 Diabetes, and this doesn't even compare. At the funeral, my family spoke one by one, we all had memories and things they wanted to share, and that was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Its been 5 months now, I've surpassed all of the lonely devastated feelings, and I thank god that my family and friends are so amazing as they are, there is no way I would have gotten through it. Gpa used to take us to school in the morning, me and my siblings, and he would always come into my bedroom, tickle my feet, and say "Little Hannah Jane" over and over again until I would wake up and get angry with him for tickling me. There are so many memories that I did not even know I had until Grandpa was gone. This last week, I had two dreams of him. In both of them the whole family was there, almost an event, to say Hi to him, but the first one, I just knew he was there to see me. All week I had been fine, but today my sister gave me one of his old sweaters that I remember so well. The very first thing I did was smell it. His scent filled my nose. All of the Tom and Jerry episodes we watched. Every morning at the breakfast table. We both had Diabetes, and he always used to get mad at me because I wasn't taking care of myself. He was kind, but stern, he was patient. He was comical, but everything he said you had to take into account. He was everything anyone could wish for a father. And when my mother grieves for her father, I grieve for mine. I miss his smell every day. I miss the sound of his big footsteps down my grandmother's hall. I miss his voice, even though it rings in my head every single day. and I hate it when not thinking about it I say "Grandma and Grandpas", because that's just not true anymore. I thought I was over feeling so alone,but I guess not.. I miss him, and I just do not have any idea what to do about it.

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