Sean Patrick Cotter

by Carol , Seans mom
(Bellingham, mass)

March 13th will be four months to the day my 24 year old son did not get up for his night shift. He was tired and had gone to bed earlier in the day. He worked the night shift so this was not out of the ordinary. When he didn't get up our nightmare began. Now almost four months later life if rough. I struggle threw each and every day. I never feel good anymore. I sit here this morning dreading another doctors appt. I am trying to be strong for my two daughters. They are wonderful and deserve a strong mom. My strength has been sucked out of me. I just can't imagine I have to go the rest of my life without my only son. Sean was the oldest of three children and my only son. I miss him more than any words can say. I have feelings of sadness and panic. I wish I could turn back time and know something was going to happen. Maybe I could of saved him? I have learned along this horrible journey that there are so many wonderful families that have lost their beautiful children. I can not believe how many young people in our world do not get to live their lives. It is so overwhelming. It has been helpful to talk to some of them though I wish none of us were going threw this. Some mornings I get up now and think of the families that will start their day as I did that day, just feeling lucky and ok and by the end of the day their world will crumble. Again, I am so shocked by how many children die. Accidents, Overdoes, Murder and Sickness and Suffering. This is definitely a side of life I wish I hadn't been introduced with.

Comments for Sean Patrick Cotter

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Mar 07, 2012
god bless you
by: Anonymous

It is nearing 4 months for your son and March 18th it will be 5 months since i lost my son , he too was my eldest. I know how difficult it is sometimes i too feel like going near my baby and looking at him one last time, i just wish there was something i could have done for him, or that god should have taken me instead of him even though i have other children each child is special and more so the eldest because he came first into ur life he was ur first angel. God takes only the best so i guess they were the best. what else can we do besides missing them and wishing they were back in our arms one we will go near them and till then we have to carry on.

Mar 06, 2012
Its Rough.
by: Karen Tasmania Australia.

Hi Caro your story is exactly how i feel,i to lost my beautiful Josh aged 14 on the 17/08/2011.It will be 7months on the 17th March.Life is unberable for me as well dont even want to get out of bed.I go to places where i dont know anyone dont see the people i used to know anymore.My family is getting on with their lives as well so i am left alone to remember my son.I miss his cheeky smile and the sound of laughter that used to come from his room when he was playing his ps3 and his computer.Now his hopes and dreams have all gone he wanted to be a games inventor and he was very good at what he did.I miss him so much the pain in unbearable i kiss his photo every morning and every night and say to him what happened mate i love you so much i dont know how i go on and most of the time i dont want to.I just wish i could die im so sad all the time.I know your pain Carol and us as parents have to stick together and grieve our way.You can e-mail me if you like at if you would like to talk some more.Love to you Karenxxxx

Mar 06, 2012
I feel your loss for Sean Patrick....
by: Mary E

I read your story and it touch me very much. I did lose my son last Nov.2011. Every day I think about him too.
I try to keep very busy with my schedule and I have other kids that need me too. I wish I can say it will get better but some days are harder than the others. Pray and ask GOD for support...God Bless.

San Antonio, TX

Mar 06, 2012
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry for your loss - I don't think there is any more profound grief than when a parent loses a child (no matter what age). But speaking as a daughter, my mother was also never the same after my brother passed away. It has been 18 years and I feel as though I have lost some precious years with my mom. I always tried hard to "replace" him and make her happy but it didn't happen. You have two beautiful children who still need to have their mom in their lives. It has only been four months, but if after a year you still feel as if life has stood still, please consider grief therapy so you can move beyond to be able to celebrate your son's life, the pleasure that he gave you, and share memories. My prayers are with you.

Mar 06, 2012
I wish I could take your pain away
by: Lost

You seem to be describing me in many ways.........just that for me it was my unexpected so sudden........I don't have the strenght to deal with this. I thought I was a strong person having also lost my father and my cousin who was also like my sister and best friend......I get up in the morning in shock and disbelief this really can't nbe happening to me. I want to feel normal and almost a year later I am getting worse each day. I was an only child and my mother's care giver. What do I do now. I go to work each day but I barely survive the day. Death is horrible when one is young like your son. My mother was not old either and I am in total shock. I still strangely enough think this is a horrible dream and that she is at home or that she will come back.

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