seeing an advert on cancer hurt greatly

by leas j
(UK)

No one has cancer in our family, thought Its belong to another family. Now when I see a advertising about cancer, makes me angry. Why and how to my own mum, who die of it. Such fast, rare form. I am so sad that's we didn't get a chance to say goodbye as she was sedated as she was In so much pains, however she was blessed not knowing the results of having cancer and that's there was no cure. I was blessed in being with her on holiday not long before she die. I just feel sad that I didn't have the encouragement to sit with her more when she needed rest due to being poorly as I thought she was having a simple illness and would recover. I was giving her space and now I feel that space was a wasted opportunity. I know we can't beat ourselves up as we don't know what around that corner. I still can't believe how quickly she has gone or is gone. I can't seemed to cry as much it hurts and to talk its huge pains on my chest. Many of us lost mums, but its feels lonely. Its hurt not able to see her voice on the phone e or see her emails... I have lots of photos all over my tables. Trying to fill in the gap of many questions. Its so raw and I feel so old now and confused. The worse- my daughter is 16 mths, who do I share my silly stories of my daughter? ?

Comments for seeing an advert on cancer hurt greatly

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Sep 28, 2014
Hi Leas, I need your help!
by: Jennie

Please click on "The Grief Club" button on the left for access to the new Forum. We want to keep this great online grief resource going and need your help! Please re-post this or put a new submission there. All your friends are waiting...
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Hi Judith from California, Pat from Green Bay, and Anonymous MI:

Could you please contact me via "Contact Us" button to the left? I need your help for the transition. Thanks so much!
Jennie

Sep 28, 2014
I need your help!
by: Jennie

Please click on "The Grief Club" button on the left for access to the new Forum. We want to keep this online grief resource going and need your help! Please re-post this or put a new submission there.
--------

Hi Doreen from UK, Judith from California, Pat from Green Bay, Lawrence from UK and Anonymous MI:

Could you please contact me via "Contact Us" button to the left? I need your help for the transition. Thanks so much!
Jennie

Sep 28, 2014
seeing an advert on cancer hurt greatly
by: Doreen UK

You are in the early days of raw grief and a lot of how you feel will soon get easier to deal with by TAKING ONE DAY AT A TIME. You spent time with your mother on a holiday which was good, and you also did not have to sit with your mother and watch her die slowly. You will in time be able to fill in the spaces and let your daughter know all about her grandmother. Now is not the time to process this.
You can also go and see a CRUSE bereavement counselor if you are struggling with your grief.
My husband had a rare and terminal cancer from working with asbestos. He couldn't accept he was dying and thought the Chemo would make him better. I nursed him for 3yrs .39days watching him die slowly of a painful cancer that was crushing his lungs. I had great difficulty with our doctors by getting his pain medication due to the cost to the NHS and the funding not being available. Screaming down the phone for a doctor to come. It was a horrendous cancer journey for me and our family. He died 2yrs.5months ago. I am struggling to understand our health services and how some people get the care they need and other's don't. Living in the U.K. you will know that it is also about OUR Postcode and if you are in an area that is well funded you will get the care you need. Some people are even denied Chemotherapy if the funding is not in place. This is a bad time to be ill in the U.K. as our Services are changing all the time. Now I am ill with pneumonia and Lung disease I am not getting the care I need. So I guess my husband did die at the right time. Not happy about this but I can't change what happens in life. I am having to go on ONE DAY AT A TIME and this does help me move forward better. Seeing adverts on cancer does hurt but it gets easier in time as we learn to live with the reality that Cancer will always be with us and we may have other family members who need support.
You will reclaim your life back and you will heal and recover from your grief.

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