Seems like the world stopped
My 21 year old niece who lived with me while going to college died suddenly due to a blood clot moving, eight months later my brother (her father) took his own life four days later my Uncle died. Six months later my girlfriend died of brain anyurism, eight months later my Dad died of a stroke, four months later my brother died of liver failure.
It has been two months since my brother died, he was an alcoholic who had been hospitalized numerous times on his death bed. He never acknowledged he had a problem and insisted he had blood disorder. Prior to my niece dying I had been helping and watching out for him as I was the only family member who lived in the same city, he did not come to any of our families funerals even our fathers he stated he was busy. I am helping my elderly Mom who having a extremely difficult time coping.
Every day is hard, working full time, worrying about my Mom, who lives two hours away and will not come live with me. Feeling I am neglecting my husband and two teenagers as on most weekends I am with my Mom.
Right now I alternate between guilt because I feel relieved he is dead, guilt that I should have done more for him and extreme angry against my brother for not being there. He was an extremely selfish person who thought of no one but himself, to see him in denial about his alcoholism over the years was difficult to take. When he did not come to my nieces funeral I did not help as much as I had been in the past. Although I had been checking up on him and tried to get him to the hospital he refused to go. I went to check on him and found him dead in his apartment, dealing with paramedics, the medical examiner cleaning out his apartment arranging his funeral. Right now I would like to run away and not have to deal with anything.