Sometimes I feel so selfish but the pain is so great that it is all I think about. I was telling my daughter-in-law yesterday that there really is nothing for me to wake up for. Roger was my everything. He had the dreams. He had places to go and things to see. I was more than happy holding on to his coat tails and going along for the ride. His dreams were my dreams. Now there is nothing but a vast hole called my future. How do I go on without him? I love him so!
Yvonne~ I was having a conversation with my beautiful daughter-in-law (I am really so blessed) today. She said, "Losing your husband has be one of the hardest things in a woman's life. Our spouses are the one person in our lives that aren't chosen for us. God gives us our parents, our siblings, our children. Our spouse is somebody we choose."
I said, "That's right....and our spouses know things about us that no other person on this earth will ever know. It's a closeness you don't share with anyone else." Then we wake up one day ~ and it's all gone.
How are we supposed to go on when our whole life has blown up in our faces? Nobody will ever know me like my husband. How do I live the rest of my life without that?
I'll try....I'll do my best. I'll continue to pray for you and all of us who are grieving on this site. God Bless.
You not but you need to be... by:
Yvonne,
You are not selfish but you need to be. I know how hard it is navigating this life alone. For now you just fake it till you make it. Bumble along get through the day that is all that is expected of you. Do what you need to do although at this point you do not know what it is. That is o.k too. None of us do, there is no road map to grief. Please do find a way to pamper yourself at the end of the day. A long hot bath, that food that you have been craving, that he would not eat because it was not meat and potatoes.
that sort of thing. I know that every thing reminds you of him and I wish that I could expedite grief but it can't be done. Just hold on tight and keep on the grief ride, its not easy but you do have people here that understand. We really do... HH
