September 4th 2011 at 1:00am I lost my mother, best friend & confidant to cancer.
by Laura Duszynski
My mother was diagnosed with 4th stage Renal Cell Carcinoma on June 16th 2011. She went through intense chemotherapy and then it started getting brain metastasis in her brain. We were all mortified! Her wish was to stay home for as long as she could. Hospice came in and helped certain days and my family and I were on shifts taking care of her around the clock. I was there a lot even when it wasn't my turn. I loved my mom so much and I wanted to spend as much time with her as I could. It was so hard seeing my mother go through such an evil ordeal with the cancer. September 2nd we ended up taking my mother to Ebied Hospice center and on September 4th 2011 at 1:00am she lost her battle with the cancer. I feel so alone at times and all i want is to talk to her about my day like I did everyday. I think Im in an anger and depression stage and I dont want to do anything. Its such a chore to even clean my house at times. Im going to be getting counseling in a few days. I feel that I should be getting over it, but I have to remember its only been 7 months and its not everyday you loose your mother. I really try to keep positive and tell myself that she is not in any pain or suffering anymore, but sometimes my mourning of her gets the best of me. I have also lost a sister in 2004 and my father passed when I was 9 yrs old. I feel like I'm an orphan, there's no other way to describe the feeling. People say that when there is a loss of a close family member or parent it will bring the other losses to the surface as well. I will be the first to say that it is a true statement, but my mother is definately been the hardest to deal with thus far! I also believe that the stress of watching her through her sickness and also watching her pass away in front of us will take me quite a while to heal from. To all of you reading this and those with similar posts I'm very sorry for your loss and God doesn't give us anything we can't handle as long as we let him help us. Also to all Hospice angels Thank you for everything you have done to help our loved one's and our families. You are true angels from heaven and I personally want to thank you for all of the wonderful care you bestowed upon our mother and us as a family as well.
In remembrance of my loving mother who I miss so dearly! Thank you for all of the wonderful memories and your love.