I have the Serenity Prayer on the wall above my computer. I posted the following on another site. It seemed that it may have offended one of the members and for that I am sorry.
GOD grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.
Hence the following below regarding "Who Moved My Cheese" and my own view of grief and accepting what I cannot change.
I just finished reading again for probably the 7th or 8th time a book called "Who Moved My Cheese" by Spencer Johnson M.D. It is about dealing with change and I think that we are all doing with that just in our own way and in our own time. I do believe that the loss of a spouse, soulmate, partner, friend and companion is about change. I for one do not particularly care for change, but I have no choice at this time. I can either accept it or not. I think even after 4 1/2 months that I know that in order for me to be whole again that accepting change is going to be a big step for me. It is a very slow process and requires a lot of soul searching as to who we are as an individual now. I am beginning to understand from people on this site and another site that I visit is that we can and do move forward but on our own terms and at our own pace. We are all strong people and we will survive(?), not sure about the spelling tonight.
I cannot change his passing. I do have a choice. I can either choose to accept it or I can choose be miserable in my grief. I am choosing to accept his passing. I am choosing to accept the change of learning who I am, what I want from life, friends and family, and above all what I have and am still learning during this journey. We all grieve and move on at our own pace. Maybe mine is quicker than some. Jim always said that he would hope that I would move on with life and live again. That is where I am at right now. Probably one step forward today and it may be two steps back tomorrow. I do not know. I only know that for me by choosing to accept his death, even after 4 1/2 months, I can choose to learn who I am as a single person again. I know that I am a strong person and finding the strength to move forward is not going to be easy. Life is not easy but no one said it would be.
I have to thank my grandmother, who passed away some 23 years ago, for giving the foundation to learn that our trials & tribulations are but a stepping stone in life. She showed me strength and courage during some of the darkest times in our life, how to love, how to survive and how to be who we are and were meant to be. I wish she was here today so I could talk with her. She isn't so I hold my own private conversations with her and my husband. I know that they are both watching over me and keeping me safe during this trying and difficult time in my life. For them I will move forward and learn to be the person I was meant to be. They were both an inspiration in my life and for that I am very thankful.