Serenity Prayer

by Janet
(Dallas, TX)

I have the Serenity Prayer on the wall above my computer. I posted the following on another site. It seemed that it may have offended one of the members and for that I am sorry.

GOD grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.

Hence the following below regarding "Who Moved My Cheese" and my own view of grief and accepting what I cannot change.

I just finished reading again for probably the 7th or 8th time a book called "Who Moved My Cheese" by Spencer Johnson M.D. It is about dealing with change and I think that we are all doing with that just in our own way and in our own time. I do believe that the loss of a spouse, soulmate, partner, friend and companion is about change. I for one do not particularly care for change, but I have no choice at this time. I can either accept it or not. I think even after 4 1/2 months that I know that in order for me to be whole again that accepting change is going to be a big step for me. It is a very slow process and requires a lot of soul searching as to who we are as an individual now. I am beginning to understand from people on this site and another site that I visit is that we can and do move forward but on our own terms and at our own pace. We are all strong people and we will survive(?), not sure about the spelling tonight.

I cannot change his passing. I do have a choice. I can either choose to accept it or I can choose be miserable in my grief. I am choosing to accept his passing. I am choosing to accept the change of learning who I am, what I want from life, friends and family, and above all what I have and am still learning during this journey. We all grieve and move on at our own pace. Maybe mine is quicker than some. Jim always said that he would hope that I would move on with life and live again. That is where I am at right now. Probably one step forward today and it may be two steps back tomorrow. I do not know. I only know that for me by choosing to accept his death, even after 4 1/2 months, I can choose to learn who I am as a single person again. I know that I am a strong person and finding the strength to move forward is not going to be easy. Life is not easy but no one said it would be.

I have to thank my grandmother, who passed away some 23 years ago, for giving the foundation to learn that our trials & tribulations are but a stepping stone in life. She showed me strength and courage during some of the darkest times in our life, how to love, how to survive and how to be who we are and were meant to be. I wish she was here today so I could talk with her. She isn't so I hold my own private conversations with her and my husband. I know that they are both watching over me and keeping me safe during this trying and difficult time in my life. For them I will move forward and learn to be the person I was meant to be. They were both an inspiration in my life and for that I am very thankful.

Comments for Serenity Prayer

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Jan 29, 2013
by: Anonymous

I read your prayer, I have it on my wall at home, my husband loved that prayer. It is very close to my husband passed july 14th 2012, and reading your prayer brought back so many memories and i thank you for that.and we have to accept the things we cannot change,but it is so very hard, I still cry at night wanting him so bad that will take me a long time to get over if i ever will.

Mar 18, 2012
the ebb and flow of grief
by: Anonymous


I am much further in my grief, 2 years and a few months to be exact. You remind me so much of my own grief and my own thinking way back when. Grief is change a change we do not want. Accepting the new "normal" we do not want. After all this time which seems life forever ago yesterday. I find that grief is a lot like puberty. We redefine who we are. We find our independence, take on responsibilities and chores around the house that was always their job. We find ourselves doing things we never thought about or thought possible.

But grief is like a roller coaster ride many ups and downs. One step forward three steps back at first. And even after 2 years I find myself missing him terribly on some days.

I feel that I should be on my way into this new life that I have made for myself and sort of curse myself for the weak moments as if I haven't the right to still mourn him. Really I will always Miss and Love him. But it is what we do with each day that counts. Do not rush grief, it will take you where you need to go. Its own path its own time.
And be kind to yourself allow grief to change. It is one big ebb and flow. Just remember one day one step one breath at a time...

Mar 18, 2012
serenity prayer
by: Candy

I have a pillow with the serenity prayer cross
stitched on it in the chair across from where I sit. It is a daily reminder that I cannot change the fact I lost my love but with Gods help I will survive. Each day I miss the closeness we had and feel he is still with me. My heart and his were one and God promises to heal the brokenhearted. The mending will take s long time because the crack in my heart is huge.

Mar 17, 2012
by: christine

Thank-you so much for sharing UR experience. I love the Serenity Prayer, can't always follow it, especially now in this time of grief, i lost my son in June 2011 and a dear friend of his {childhood] just the other day!Just seems like there is soo much sadness lately! Again, thank-you

Mar 17, 2012
That message you wrote, is beautiful.
by: Matilda martin

I really love the part that you shared about
GOD granting us the Serenity to accept the things that we cannot change, Courage to change the things we can, and Wisdom to know the difference.

Last month I last my Hudeany my Goffin cockatoo and the rest of the stuff you wrote is so true. It's vary hard to move on after losing a pet or person that you love with all your heart and would do anything to make well again or bring them back again if it was possible. Even today I'm finding it so hard to move beyond the pain of losing my best friend. Just when I think I'm moving pass the death of my beloved bird, I feel like I going back 2 steps. I try to think of the people that i love and have around me today. Even my six birds that I care about. But then I get thinking if only Hudeany would have made through to March, when the time changed,the longer and warmer days finally here. Soon spring will arrive. If only he made through one spring and summer. I been having a difficult time excepting dealing with the death of my big big. I still left everything of his the way it has been before he left me.Anyways I will try to keep everything that you wrote on here in mind.
Thank you so much!

Mar 17, 2012
Serenity prayer
by: Mari

Hi Janet. I am sorry for your loss. Please do not think anything about that posting of the serenity prayer. It is quite a nice prayer.
I still read that book, ''Who moved my cheese?'' Because mine has been moved a number of times. I feel as you do that we just have to accept what has happened and leave it in the hands of God.
I have to admit it has not been easy.I had lost my husband and then changed jobs. But you know something Janet? When I got the job I have now one yr and one month ago I was still not feeling like myself.It turned out to be a positive change with caring people. My boss actually helped me in the healing process by being so kind. So my cheese was moved and I took 1/2 half of my required classes and the other half will be in April.I loved the classes and got a certificate and felt so good about it as I learned so much.So you see God places you where he wants you to be. As the seasons change I feel a longing in my heart but the Lord is with me. He will do the same for you.
I am a great grandmother now and that was added blessing. Life just goes on and we do indeed accept what we cannot change.
I remember too advice from my grandparents. I remember my grandfathers funeral and how brave my grandmother was. She asked the pastor if he would say that part again about the resurrection.
All we can do is keep going and keep up the faith. A step back at times is quite normal during the grieving process. As I said I miss my husband more at certain times. So God bless you and keep posting. We care for you and are here for you.

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