Serious Multiple Deaths

by Kevin
(Knoxville, TN, USA)

How do I deal with this? In February, I lost a four-year old Pomeranian baby. She and I were attached at the hip. She died instantly from what the vet says was a blood clot. It was devastating. But it was to soon to be followed by five people who I are a significant in my life. Three were younger than me, a niece and awesome friends and were shockers. One death included my own mother last month. Today I learned about the death of my aunt. That's number six in 2013 and doesn't include my dog.
It is getting to the point that when I get a call from someone I wonder if I even want to answer. It is so scary!

Comments for Serious Multiple Deaths

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Aug 04, 2013
serious multiple deaths
by: silver

I know how you feel.I sent on ahead of me my father,my mother,my friend of 28 yrs,and my husband in 17 months.It has been 3 1/2 yrs,3 yrs,3 yrs,and 2 yrs respectively.The hardest was my husband of 33 yrs.(this past May). I am just getting to the time where I don't break down every time I think of him.This yr has been the hardest(since August-June),esp.May and June.I have been told that the avg time for grief is 18 months(the hardest part). I was also told,and I believe wholeheartedly,that everyone grieves in their own way and differently.There are several stages of grief,but they happen differently for us all.I didn't understand this until it happened to me.I also didn't understand how different deaths affected us differently and caused it's own type of grieving.I do know that,as my beloved husband used to say,"It never goes away,but it does get easier".At this 26 month mark of his death I am beginning to live again.My health is beginning to improve(I have asthma and all the crying and depression kept me getting sick a lot).I am starting to get things done that have waited for me.So you see,keep going.It will get better.The amount of time varies with all of us.Don't beat yourself up.You will recover at your own speed.GOD send you strength and peace. I will keep you in my prayers.

Jul 20, 2013
Serious Multiple Deaths
by: Doreen U.K.

Kevin I am sorry for all the multiple losses in your life.
Some of us find it hard coping with one. With so many multiple deaths you don't get a chance to grieve each loss separately and it all builds up into such a long grief. You will feel as if you have been grieving forever. Perhaps working out your losses with a trained counsellor will help you move forward better.
I can understand you feeling uneasy answering the phone. You are in the same place as all of us having lost loved ones'. We feel more vulnerable to losing people from our life and it is a scary place to be and a scary thought to have to process and hope it will go away. You could also keep a journal and write out all your feelings and thoughts and even include letters to these loved ones. This way you will be doing something positive to get all this grief out of your system and express it. I choose writing because if I talk about how I feel losing my husband, friends and family don't really understand they think we should be over it and moving on. Find what works best for you, but talking is important as this is the only way we can Heal from our many losses.

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