Seven months ago today My Sean Patrick was dying!
by Carol , Seans mom
Hello, This is Carol, Seans mom. Seven months ago today I should of been setting my gps up for finding New England Tech in Rhode Island. Sean had asked me to take the ride with him. He was being tested for class placement. I took the day off from work and was ready to go. I talked to him last on Sunday morning. I had to go to work and he was talking about things that happened that morning when he got out of work. He seemed good. He seemed nervous but excited for the next day. When I said Goodbye that morning I never imagined I would never get to talk to my 24 year old son again. Seven months have passed. The grief is overwhelming. I still see his eyes,his smile and I hear his voice. I hope I never forget his voice. He was so young and hadn't even started to live his adult life. I never imagined this happening,only thought I saw it on the news. Now when I see tragedy on the news I think I know exactly how they feel. Instead of being on my way to the college I spent seven months ago today watching my son on life support. The doctor told us Sean would not be going home with us. I know now that I was in shock. Everything happening just seemed unbelievable. It was after midnight when they told us they had done more brain tests and their was no brain function. I lost my son November 14,2011 but because it was one forty in the am on the fifteenth that is his death date. It took us that long to understand we had to make the decision to let him go. Who ever thinks that will happen? Today I am a tired,sad and depressed 49 year old woman. My motto to my children has always been Think Positive and Positive Things will happen. I am not so sure about that anymore. I love my children more than anything. I was always there for them. I would give up my life to save theirs. Why didn't Sean get the chance to fight? Why do these things happen to so many good families? These are questions I have learned will never get answered. I take my life day to day now. Some days are scarier than others. I have not had to many good days. Seven months have passed and I feel like it has been one day. The pain of losing my beautiful 24 year old son Sean Patrick is as fresh as it was day one. I hope to find some peace because I know my physical health suffers. Seven months of incredible stress and panic and sadness is so unhealthy. Seven months of going to work and trying to act like I am hanging on is very tiring. Seven months ago my life was destroyed and the pieces are still all over the place. Peace to all!