Sharon, Riverview, Florida

by Sharon
(Riverview, Florida)

I lost my beloved husband of 33 years on January 10, 2011. I miss him so much! I am so thankful that I have a wonderful job to go through but the weekends are so lonely. My sister doesn't want to have anything to do with me and who we thought were are best friends told me to get over it! I am so hurt. I am going to go to grief therapy because I know that I can get through this. With my job, I have such wonderful support and my husband's family has been wonderful. Why can't my sister be kind? She has hurt me so bad and so have my friends. I am going through a rough time. My mentor of 10 years and friend of 10 years whom I had lunch with every day died of pancreatic cancer Thursday morning. We are burying him on Monday at 1PM. Then my good friend told me she has breast cancer and is having surgery on 3/9. WOW. If anyone tells me I am weak I will deck them, like I did with the stupid orderly at the hospital when they told me my husband died. He walked up behind me and and didn't know who he was and I knocked him 6 feet backwards. My knuckles were black and blue for at least a week. We made peace. I was lucky, I was able to see my husband after he died and held him and told him how much I loved him. The loss is so great, I understand why people want to die when their loved ones passes. I feel the same way. But, I am going to try to go on and make my Lonnie proud of me.

Comments for Sharon, Riverview, Florida

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Mar 07, 2011
GRIVING TOO
by: Anonymous

I LOST MY LOVE 14 MONTHS AGO TODAY. THE DAY DANIEL PASSED AWAY IS STILL FRESH IN MY MIND STILL HAVE REGRETS AND WISH WE WOULD HAVE GONE MORE PLACES AND DONE MORE THINGS TOGETHER BUT I HAD TO WORK TO KEEP A ROOF OVER OUR HEADS HE HAD ADHD I MISS HIM SO MUCH I DREAM ABOUT OUR LIFE TOGETHER ALOT. 2010 WAS A VERY HARD YEAR FOR ME BUT WITHOUT GOD I DONT KNOW HOW I WOULD HAVE DEALT WITH IT GOD BLESSED OUR MARRIAGE 7 YEARS TOGETHER AND WISH WE COULD HAVE MET SOONER BUT I KNOW WE'LL MEET AGAIN SOME SWEET DAY. GOD BLESS YOU! AH

Mar 06, 2011
Sharon in Riverview
by: M Mack

Sharon,

I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. You are the one with all the emotion right now and all of your friends and family move on. They are uncomfortable and do not know what to say. So don't take it so hard. I'm sure they have your best interests at heart. This grief belongs to you and you alone. You are the one that needs to go through it and it's not worth fighting with....you will lose. Come here to vent as often as you want. We are all suffering with a loss and this site has helped me tremendously. It does help to know you are not alone. Read, write and my prayers and hugs are here for you.

Mar 06, 2011
grief the worst ride of our life
by:

Sharon,

I am also a 15 monther as of today 3/6/11.
I need to get out of the house so that I do not focus on that fact, yes it still pains me the memories of that day. People will say some asinine things to you thinking that it is a comfort. Read the things that people say in this blog. You'll find someone else, you need to move on. He wouldn't want you to be this way. and the one stinger that may be true but you totally want to deck them for is...Life goes on. Yeah supposed to be a comfort, Yeah life goes on for everyone else but my life has been suspended in some unreal this isn't happening type dream.

It is so unfortunate and sad the the very people that you thought were your friends will dissipate. Uncomfortable with death, acting if it is contagious. They cannot bring themselves to thinking of that very thing happening to them.

Keep coming here we understand and are here to listen always. one step one breath our motto to get through the day.
HH

Mar 06, 2011
thoughtless people
by: Judy

Sharon,

Please accept my sympathy on the loss of your beloved husband.

I lost my Barry 15 months ago so I have a few miles on you in this awful trek of grief. What you are getting from people is a big dose of their discomfort around death. They don't know what to say or how to act so they say stupid things or things that are mean, although they don't realize they're doing it. Often they think they're being kind or even comforting!

Try to forgive them if you can. They can't possibly understand the depth of your loss and the fact your life has changed in a fundamental way. They may know this intellectually but they can't know it emotionally since they have not lived it. We here have lived it and we know. So come back often and talk with us because we get it.

I agree with you that the weekends are the pits. Even now, 15 months later, the weekends drag on.
After the housework and shopping are completed there is nothing but time left. Early on I started taking refuge in books and as a life-long reader; that has taken me through many a long Sunday. Now I've started to work on changing my house to make it my own. You eventually will find what makes you happy and passes the time for you. Meanwhile, don't fight the grief. It will win anyway and unfortunately we need to pass through all this painful emotion to heal.

Bless you and hang on.

JM

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