She died 11/26/11 at 31. Why does God let our children die? I don't understand.
I had a lot of faith before she died. Far from perfect, I did considered myself closer to being the person God would wanted me to be than I had ever been. So I ask myself -- is this some sort of test?!
I do believe life is precious regardless of what kind of human being we are and because all of us have problems and need help from one another. We love our children no matter who they are on the inside. But I have to ask why someone so young, kind, educated, beautiful, employed, and loving -- would literally drop dead, while in front of a computer screen, from an unknown brain aneurysm.
Yet so many pedophiles, serial killers, political pundits and wall street thieves still walk the earth. Child rapist priest live to be in their 80's while being cared for by the church. Wife killer get away with it and yet our children are dead.
This must be hell and I must have done something to be sent here and suffer so deeply and profoundly. I would rather be dead and let her live a full life. I hate this world as it makes no sense to me. I don't understand and just wish God would be so kind as to tell me WHY!!!
Someone please show me how to move on, as I feel forever trapped in deep sorrow with an inability to move as I stay frozen in a state of unrelenting grief.