She left too soon and so loved
My mother was beautiful. I have a picture of her in her wedding suit up at work. People come to stare at it, she was that beautiful...and she didn't know it. Her whole life was dedicated to taking care of those around her: her parents, her friends, her children, my father's parents, her kids's friends.
She always wanted to become a foster parent. Its a shame she never did.
She was my person. The person I would confide in, cuddle, call every day...god, I miss her.
I do believe she is somewhere better, but she passed away 2 weeks ago when I was pregnant with my first child. I feel the loss for both myself, my child, and my mom because she so wanted to hold my baby. She wanted to help me decorate the nursery, take the baby to the beach, hold her, feed her, love her. Now, that will never happen and my children will never know that love she radiated.
I feel the pain from my stomach, to my heart and it seems to start welling in my throat and explode in my mind.
I will never hold her again, she will never again braid my hair or sing good morning sunshine to me, I will never again look into her blue eyes or get her letters in the mail packed full of recipes cut out of her O and Sunset magazines. Her love was so steady, so strong.
I will never again be the same person. This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I have faith that I will see her again, but I will live my life without waste, with laughter, with love, modeled after her and how she wanted life to be for us.
I love you mom.