Shifting Sand

by jules
(Boonah, Qld, Australia)

This is a poem I found when clearing some paperwork, it was given to me at Ipswich Hospice who run a grief counselling service, when my husband died 15 months ago.It is credited to Jan MacDonell of Wahroonga, NSW Australia.

My beloved has died - I'm
Frightened and hurt
Please don't get angry,
impatient or curt -
If I'm not progressing as
you think I should.
I'd love to snap out of it,
if only I could.

You see, we were a couple -
A team, you could say
always together, every day.
Now there's just me, alone
and scared.
Missing my loved one,
someone who cared.
There's a void in my life
and I'm full of despair
Long to be loved, but there
is no one there.

So, please don't get angry,
please understand
That I feel like I'm
drowning in shifting sand.

These words say it all don't they?

Comments for Shifting Sand

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Feb 05, 2011
for HH
by: Mari

HH, I can well understand how you must be feeling. It is not fun to decide if you need this or that piece of furniture when you are grieving.It is difficult enough just grieving.
I realize that people just want to help but sometimes we are not in a frame of mind to make decisions.

When I had a whole crew in here doing the same thing I could not really think clearly. I had 5 children and spouses and the grown grandchildren here.

What no one understands is that in due time we can decide what we want or need as far as household furnishings or other things go. It took me a year to make a lot of decisions. I just recently removed my husbands name from the caller ID on our phone and had my name only. It was upsetting to my husbands kids. things like that.
But you know HH that what counts is that someone is there for us at that time and their hearts are in the right place. Take care. We are here for you. Mari

Feb 04, 2011
so true
by: Judith

I copied and pasted this into an e-mail and sent to those who want to rush me through this process. I hate when they interrupt me and change the subject to try and get my mind off my loss. I also added the when, God forbid, it happens to them I'll be here to listen to every word until because i will know what they are feeling.

Thank you for sharing this. My husband will be 5 months gone on Valentines Day. I'll scream if anyone says Happy to me on that day. I too, like Hope am snapping at my son and going through the angry stage. I don't want this life I want the one I had with Chuck even tho he was in a wheelchair and i did everything for him.

Feb 04, 2011
Shifting sand
by: Mari

That poem sure says it all, even the title. Thank you for posting it Jules.The poem shows the ebb and flow of life and how we are forced to make changes in our lives. We have to go on.
My husband passed away on Nov 22 2009.
My whole life has changed and more changes on the way.
I work here as assistant manager having taken the job over for my husband. I will be working outside the home in board and care facilities, 2 of them. One is out of town and I will be spending some nights there.I will still manage here as I have split shifts in the facility here and can still be here to manage.
My new life begins . In a way it is good to be busy. It feels weird though. It is almost like I went from one lifetime to another.
I understand that my husband is safe with the Lord and out of pain.I accept that. He is always in my heart and mind.
Life is never going to be the same.
I spent yesterday getting a live scan and taking first aid class. It will be good bye to the old life.It is a rather lonely feeling but God provides my needs. He not only gave me a husband to love all those years but now has given me a great job where I can help others and a boss that appreciates having a mature lady for the job.
God bless all of you.

Feb 04, 2011
Yes they do!!
by: Cindy

They say it all!! I feel every word... my husband passed away 2 1/2 months and I am so very lost in this world without the love of my life. He was so good to me and I miss him so much. Sometimes it feels like I can't go on. Saying prayers for us all to get through this grief... my heart just hurts!

Feb 04, 2011
Awesome poem
by: Eunice

This is an awesome poem and hits the mark on everything.

Feb 03, 2011
shifting sand
by: Donna

Amen Jules. I think I'll make copies to carry around with me. This way when they make senseless comments I'll just hand them the copy and walk away. Thank you

Feb 03, 2011
Shifting Sand
by: Linda(Quebec)

First I would like to say Im sorry for your loss.
It will be seven long and very sad weeks since my husband passed away.
I loved this poem................thank you so much for sharing I love it and though it brought tears to my eyes it also says how I feel..."like drowning in shifting sand"
thanks again

Feb 03, 2011
lost
by: Anonymous

Jules,

I am in the midst of clearing out clutter. Snapping at my son, Grouchy at my brother who wants to help me, Because "You just can't live like this!" He's walking though the house "Do you need this? Do you really need this?"I know it stems from grief. I just can't get motivated to do more than the bare minimal. That poem really does say it all.

I think that people expect me to be like I was before...A doer a mover and shaker. I am not healed yet, still can't think straight. A get frustrated with myself and those around me.
I feel like that saying I am dancing as fast as I can but, it feels like slow motion. What is wrong with me? grief...Perhaps the tail end but rough all the same. I sure hope that things start to feel some sort of normal soon.
HH

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