Shine on you Crazy Diamond.....
We will Survive
I Listen to the song and torture myself. Unsure why I do things to bring on the sorrow. I tell myself that I am in the beginning of the acceptance. Perhaps Lie to myself trying to forge ahead because there is nothing else. My heart aches so tonight, missing him, wanting him here plugging in the fog machine getting excited like a little kid, putting on Boris or Vincent.
I will do those things for Boo, I promised Classic Horror and appetizers as we have done every year. I cannot do it tonight, I guess I am not as strong as I made myself out to be. Playing Wish you were here. How appropriate is that? The tears burn my throat trying to hold them in but they just escape. No tears since the first of Oct, a record for me.
Halloween, Thanksgiving, The one year mark 12/06/10 Christmas then Our Anniversary Jan. 1st. We would have been together for 18 years and now I rush backwards asking...Why aren't we? There is no finish line after all is there?
I Will Miss You and Love you Forever Paul, I am trying to be happy or at least functioning with some happy days.
I owe it to Boo. He deserves a whole mother not just the shell.