Shock and a Broken Heart

by Julie Parrott

My Dad on Halloween 2012, dressed up as a chimney sweep.

My Dad on Halloween 2012, dressed up as a chimney sweep.

My Dad on Halloween 2012, dressed up as a chimney sweep.
Fall 2012
Supporting when I went skydiving, even though he was worried.

My Dad (John L. Parrott Jr.)died 4 weeks ago, 07/12/1949 - 08/01/2013.
I am the youngest of 6 kids, and I still live at home even though I’m 23, because my daddy didn't want me to move out. I loved him very much, and we were really close, I've always been a daddy’s girl.
My dad just turned 64 on July 12th. On august 1st I went to the river with my parents, the weather was perfect, and though the water was cold I got in anyway… and talked my dad into getting in with me. We walked upstream and got in the water to float back to where my mom was weighting, camera in hand. I was just relaxing, but my dad looked panicked, so I coaxed him to breathe and relax… But he continued to frantically reach for vines and tree limbs, so I went to him and asked him if he was ok, He grabbed me around the shoulders like he was drowning and said, “Get me out.” So I swam him and myself to shore. My mom didn't even know anything was wrong, she was still videoing us on her camera, when he collapsed in her arms on the boat ramp. I frantically dialed 911, but since we were out in the middle of nowhere it took the ambulance 20 minutes to get there, while my dad (who was having a heart attack due to the shock of the cold river water) died in my moms arms. The medic got did cpr and got his heart beating, but he never regained consciousness, and his heart gave out in the hospital 5 hours later.
My dad was a stubborn man, and he didn't believe in doctors, so he hadn't been to the doctor in years. We knew that he had high blood pressure, and chest pains sometimes, but we didn't know that his heart was weak enough that a dip in some cold water would kill him.
4 weeks, and I still have to try to convince myself that he’s gone. Everything reminds me of him. I miss him all of the time. I thought I had more time with him, I wanted him to be at my wedding someday, to hold my children when they’re born, to teach me how to ride a motorcycle, and so much more! I feel like I've been robbed! I don’t know how I’ll ever get through this. I feel so lost. I know I’m still in shock, but I’m beginning to feel the pain of my broken heart.
-Forever a Daddy’s Girl

Comments for Shock and a Broken Heart

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Nov 16, 2013
Stabbing pain that will get better in time...
by: Trixie

I lost my dad almost 4 years ago. Sometimes I still feel it's been recently only and sometimes it feels like it has been forever as I can't believe I haven't seen and hugged him for so long. I guess what I am trying to say is that it will get better and that the pain will sometimes be less, but it will never really go away. I am also a Daddy's girl and though already married for 10 years with a loving husband and a 9-year old daughter, I will still always have that hole in my heart and long for that special unconditional love that can only come from my father.

It used to be a stabbing pain in the heart that I felt 24/7 when he just passed away from a failed 2nd heart operation, for his aortic valve and heart failure. Though most days now are okay and better, out of the blue, either from seeing, hearing or remembering something associated with my Dad, I suddenly feel that stabbing pain all over again.

I used to dream of him a lot and still do from time to time now, and whether it's a long one or a short but very meaningful dream, where he just appeared and hugged or told me he misses me, I wake up knowing that he is still around watching over me and our family. Most of the time, praying to God and talking to my Dad before I sleep or when I feel down, he still sends me a butterfly out of nowhere, I find a car plate number with his birth date or see his name in the most weird places or meet a client with the same name and nickname as my Dad.

I pray and do hope that you will be strong and keep believing that everything that happens has a reason, and only time and your love for him, knowing that he is in a peaceful place, can really heal or make the pain in your heart feel better...

Sep 03, 2013
So sorry for your loss
by: S

Dear Julie,

Thank you for sharing the beautiful photo of your Dad - he looks so happy and full of fun with the theme.

We (Daddy's Girls) have a precious legacy left us from our dear Dads. First you will need to get over the terrible abrupt shock of it all... then the huge gaping hole... and getting through the denial... in the beginning, I would look at all the recent photos, even the ones of the funeral to force myself to accept that he really IS gone. I did not and could not believe and accept that. With time though, reality hits, and the hurt really begins. In time though, this too shall pass, and for survival, we eventually focus on the good happy memories, and those, help us get through it all. Also, being strong for our dear mom's who have it even worse, and trying to put the pieces together as the family is shattered, we keep Dads memory alive, his legacy is us, his precious children. We need to look after ourselves, for him. He would want that.

It may not seem like it, but it's good that everything reminds you of him. We will always miss them. None of us were ready to say good-bye but know that he loved you as you loved him, and no good-byes are needed, even though we really desire it. I so wish I could have been with my dad when he passed! To hold his hand, to whisper words of love, encouragement, support and eternal gratitude and love for him... it was not to be, but I know he knew it. I will and have had to accept that. I wish the same for you.

I'm also very sad about not having him at my Wedding one day - I even try to avoid thinking about that although it will be a reality as I have a boyfriend who I believe is The One. Yes, we have been robbed! However, I try and think of what we were given... we were blessed to have had him, and for as long as we did. When I think of friends who lost a parent at SCHOOL, I think it must have been worse for them. We had our Dad's love, guidance, teaching, sharing, caring for that we are adults, we can take those teachings and use it, and honour our Dads, as his legacy.

How do you get through this? Think if your Dad was there, and someone else, someone precious passed away, what would he do? What would he say? Stand firm and united with your family. Be strong for your Mom and help her - she has lost her husband, her life partner, her best friend, her confidant, her everything. She has the 6 of you who are precious, a gift from him, share your thoughts, your feelings with each other, and help each other cope and get through it, as you have something in common: you all loved your Dad, you are all in shock, you all miss him.

We will keep you in prayer for healing of your broken heart - a part of it will always belong to your Dad. May God comfort you and give you His peace. God Bless

Aug 29, 2013
Shock and a Broken Heart
by: Doreen U.K.

Julie I am sorry for your loss of your Daddy to a sudden death. You had such a great relationship with your daddy that will make it all the more painful. It is early days and the grief will be at it's worst now. Cry all you need to as this is where your healing will come from. Expressing grief will wash away your pain in time. Your mom will need so much support now having lost her husband so suddenly and not expected.
My husband of 44yrs. died 15 months ago of cancer. I am finding this a hard lonely battle that will be on going for a long time. your mom will be going through this grief in much the same way. It is such an unbearable pain that one almost feels they can't get through this. But as the days go by we do get a little stronger. We feel less raw pain of grief. But life will never be the same again for any of us. It is not easy to restructure one's life at such a late stage of life. My husband was 2yrs. older than your father. So He also like my husband missed out on his retirement. Your mom will feel robbed of these precious years ahead she was looking forward to from your father's long working life. This is such a huge loss in so many ways. Your father won't get to see his grandchildren grow up or to walk you down the aisle. This is such a huge loss. May God bring you all Comfort and Peace in your loss.

Aug 28, 2013
shock and a broken heart
by: Anonymous__MI

Julie---I am very sorry for the loss of your Dad. I have lost my dear husband 9 months ago to Sudden Cardiac Arrest---no warning--just taken from us and leaving a huge void and unexplainable pain. I have deep faith in God and His power and wisdom. He makes no mistakes. I believe that we are given a number of days to live on this earth and when that time is up God will call us to leave. We will not live a minute less or a minute more than God allows. We, who are faithful to Jesus Christ will be in the joy of heaven. You mentioned that the cold water was a factor in your Dad's death. No matter was had been done in the past or what had not been done regarding our health is not an issue when God calls us home. It was your Dad's time and my husband's time to leave us. While the grief is raw and brutal it is now for us to live in honor of our loved one's memory and try to take one day at a time and seek to make our loved ones proud of us in how we live. I pray that you look to the Lord and ask Him to lead you and guide you on this journey of grief. He is our only hope of getting through this sorrow. May God bless you and all on this site.

Aug 28, 2013
So sorry
by: Anonymous

Dear Julie,
I am so sorry to read about your post. I also lost my father suddenly. He suffered Sudden Cardiac Arrest, and died in January. The EMT's managed to restart his heart, but he never regained consciousness and died at the hospital a few hours later. I was in complete denial at the hospital and thought for sure that he would wake up. I had seen him the day before and he was fine. One minute he was here, then he was gone. I understand the shock you and your family are in. Even after seven months, it is still overwhelming. I was also very, very close to my father and cannot believe he is gone. I miss him so very much and I think about him all the time. I am on the same road to recovery, all I can offer you is comfort and prayers. This is a wonderful website, and you will hopefully find a strength here as you begin to heal. Again, I'm so sorry, Barb

Aug 28, 2013
So sorry
by: Kristin

I am so sorry to hear about your terrible loss. I too recently have lost someone very dear to me... almost 6 weeks ago now and I am still in the process of realizing this is real. I have been seeing a grief consouler and it has been very helpful. When you are feeling overwhelmed and don't think you can bear through another minute, just remember that the pain does eventually subside. The most important thing is to breathe. Take deep breaths in your nose, out your mouth. When you cry, you release a lot of negative emotions residing in your body and I encourage you to cry as much as you can. Also have fun when you feel it... part of the greiving process, which I wasn't aware of, is remincising on happy times spent with your loved one. Your father would not want you to live in constant misery for the rest of your days... that won't work for you, or for him. Take it one moment at a time. You can and will get through this. God bless.

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