Should be excited
Today I went for a job interview, I start my new job Monday, it's been 7 months since my 36yr. old son completed suicide. Him & I were close talked to each other everyday, about what was going on in our lives. I was so excited to finally get a job even though some days I don't think I'm ready yet. The excitement turned to a sinking feeling when I once again realized I can't call him to share my joy. He would have had some wise crack to make. I miss him so, so much, it's days like today that the stabbing pain & reality hits me like a ton of bricks falling on top of me. I truly hate this new normal & I hate the new me.