sigh, May has been hard

by Donna

May has been a hard month this this year. The first, he would say the most important days of the year, without him. Mothers day without him started off bad, you see he wasn't here to be the first one to say HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!! But my daughters did make it a special day for me. They bought me a white gold heart locket, part of the eternal heart collection . On the front of the locket are small diamonds which form two hearts with no end. They said they both saw it and didn't even look at anything else. The said that they knew that daddy would get that for me if he was here, daddy would love it. Now all I have to do is find a picture that is good enough to reduce and still be able to see it. Thank you Bryan for my two wonderful, beautiful daughters.

The second important day is my birthday. Again no Bryan to kiss me and tell me HAPPY BIRTHDAY. He would stay up until midnight just so he could be the first one that I saw and the first one that told me happy whatever the special day was.

We would alwas grill on special occasions weather permitting so this year we decided to grill for mothers day and my birthday.
It was so hard to use his grill, it was practically brand new, he had only used it twice before he died. My kids told me that daddy would want me to use it not to let it just sit there and rot. So I found a really good deal on steaks. The only problem is that I have never used a grill before. You see, Bryan and I were the perfect team. I prepared most everything inside then took it outside and Bryan cooked it. He cooked everything to perfection, we on the other hand, had to put the steak on the grill 3 different times before it got done. I'm hoping that with practice and time that I will learn what to do.
I guess that is what it is going to take to get through life without Bryan, practice and time, alot of time. So I go through life one step, one breath, one day at a time. I love you always Bryan until we meet again

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May 28, 2011
Locket of Love
by: TrishJ

I don't know which month has been the hardest for me. They are all hard. My husband loved to cook ~like you, I did all the inside preparation ~ he mastered the grill.
I gave his grill to my daughter and son-in-law. Having just purchased a new home, they were thrilled to get it.
Last year on father's day I had 20 people over for steaks. Joe was too ill to cook so my son did the grilling. I miss those days. I actually miss everything.
We have to stay strong and forge ahead. I love the necklace your daughters gave you. They obviously know where your heart is. Love them for that.
Blessings to you. Better days ahead? I hope so.

May 27, 2011
and before that April was rough too


I know how hard it is to be the man of the house without the man. We have all had our moments trying to keep things going. We relied heavily on our honeys for BBQing, mowing the lawn, putting things together, Helping us move heavy stuff, killing bugs. We did the wifey things. I am all for equal rights but it was nice our little roles and our responsibilities, They meshed. Together we were the perfect team.

You will eventually conquer various tasks and be proud because of it. The initial frustration is not as much doing it but missing them along with the learning.

The seasons come and go and with it many memories.
It does get easier as we become more self sufficient but we never stop missing them. It wasn't what they did for us but how they made us feel. Keep on trucking it will get easier.

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