sigh sigh again

Well another exciting Friday night...Not.
Rented Eat Pray Love and It will probably make me weepy like
P.S I Love You. Why do we do this to ourselves?
Watch chick flicks Love stories that are bogus? We had the genuine Real Love. Songs remind us of our Love what we had, what we lost. One begins to think that the songs played are directed to us with a message.

The hereafter, signs, quantum physics all designed to make us feel that we're not really alone.

I do think that they are looking out for us on our path towards the future. But doncha feel like some sort of puppet in our own life? It's like go go go...what now?
If the memories don't strangle you the lack of direction will. I am trying so hard to do more than exist.

He is not here to share to good and the bad with. I am lonely as hell but not enough to date. I need a balding gay guy between 40-60 to share some time with.
Sex needs to be taken out of the equation though god knows I miss it.

Well let me get started on dinner and a movie...Alone.

Comments for sigh sigh again

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Mar 09, 2011
Thanks for sharing...
by: Maxine

Thank you all for sharing your stories...that helps me not feel so alone. Yes we have to face being 'single' again, and to me that means learning to love myself more deeply than ever. So give yourselves a big hug because we are our own 'true love'

Mar 08, 2011
I agree with you all
by: Eunice

It's only been 3 1/2 months since I lost my best friend who was my loving husband. I attended grief counceling through Hospice which helped, to a point, now I attend their monthly meetings, called healing hearts. But in the meantime, I am and for the most part stay pretty much isolated. I just can't seem to figure out where I'm supposed to go from here, nor how. I wake up and still feel so drained and tired and depressed and cry at the drop of a pin. I moved down here from KY in 2004 to be with my husband here in GA, but outside of his family, I don't know anyone, so weekends and all, I pretty much stay at home, trying how best to move on forward, but haven't quite figured that out yet. I've thought, since I only live about 40 miles from the FL stateline to take a day trip just for a change of scenery, but just haven't been able to force myself to do it yet. Loneliness is a terrible thing. All my best to all of you, take care 1 day ~ 1 step

Mar 07, 2011
where do we go from here?
by: Anonymous


I don't know if you have thought of it but I have. We grew with our spouses both mentally and ahem physically. We had our imperfections and accepted each other as we tried to grow old together, but alas that is not to be.

I am lonely and would love simple companionship, not dating. I am not ready nor willing to have someone study me from head to toe as if I am a product they are purchasing.

It was the beauty from within that hubby fell in love with, sure the package was wrapped a little better 17 years ago. But it was the present inside that he loved. I am not looking for a new man but something to fill the loneliness that cannot be filled with work or food.

People are shallow, or to be fair can be. That is not what I need or am willing to put up with.
So I will work giving my home a facelift, trying to start over in my own way. Yet we are human and not meant to be alone always. Not sex, just plain human companionship. For now though I will remain alone because I do not think that anyone is willing to give me what I need without a hefty price.

I still miss and want Paul. No one will fill that need so...I guess I will just need to make myself stronger, be the person that I should be alone. Maybe there is another human being that can see that, perhaps then in a distant future.
I am not meat for sale just someone who has had things hard and not willing to bargain for less.

Mar 06, 2011
More sighs
by: Judy

Amen to the long and empty weekends. Damn I'm tired of this loneliness but I can't figure out how to change it except moving 3000 miles back to CA where I would have no job and no house. There I would have a circle of old friends and my kids many miles closer. I feel trapped in FL.

I actually was talked into entering an on-line dating site by my colleagues at work with really bad results. I am scared to death of rejection by these men who are all looking for a 30 year old who wants a 60 year old bald guy. Also down here many are married to their boats or motorcycles already. Some are just mean and post things like "fatties need not apply" and "if your not good looking and a beach bunny I won't reply." Who needs this? Not me.

Lately I've come to the opinion that if the Lord wants another companion in life for me He will put him in my path when the time is right. That's how Barry entered my life.

Until then I guess I'll remain lonely and confused, reading, watching movies and redecorating rooms which are already perfectly fine. Life is boring.

Mar 05, 2011
by: M Mack


I get what you're saying about just go, go, go..... Where the hell are we going??? Nowhere if you ask me. This life without them is crazy. We lost the fight, we concur we are alone and have chick flicks, popcorn, cooking, laundry, samo samo as our sanity. I'd rather have it the old way but for now, we have to settle on the company we get- even if he is bald 40-60....I like the 40 better. Anyway you look at it I know we will find our place. You're right, it's not about sex but at least someone who notices you're alive and washed your hair or did your nails right? Hopefully, that someone will find the grieving widows of the world before they lose the teeth and walk with a cane. I myself have no interest but maybe for you it's time. Take care of yourself and hang on. I've got a good feeling you're onto something. My best to you!

Mar 05, 2011
sigh again
by: jody

im with you in every word you speak...everyday i think tomorrow would be a good day to.... and then i just waste it sitting on the couch crying and listening to music...physically, mentally exhausted...i can see into the future and what i want but just cant push myself to do it without having someone who is so excited for me and hangs on my every word and is absolutely in awe of me...i know that sounds conceited but it wasn't...he adored me and i adored him...will i ever be comfortable in my own skin again...right now it crawls on a daily basis...i wish we could all be in a room together to comfort each other, hold each other and cry together because only those of us here on these pages know how absolutely impossible life is right now... my heart truly hurts for each of you, my friends in our new "club"....yeah...just let me wallow around in self pity for a little all understand..where better to do it than here...thanks all my new friends...wish we could have met under different circumstances....<3

Mar 05, 2011
by: Jackie

I also am alone like always. I hate this life so much. I have nothing to look forward to. My children are trying to make their own way in this hell on earth. I am sorry for your loss. We are all sorry for each other. Try to remember all the good times. I have started to dream of my husband, I miss him so much. My daughter had a dream of him the other night and it made her cry. I want to get past this hopelessness but I don't know how. I pray for you and all of us. Take care of yourself as best you can.

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