Silent Screams

by HH
(Tappahannock VA)

There is a dog outside howling with cold and loneliness, begging to be let inside. In the quiet of the morning I murmur I know....I know. And isn't what we all want to feel warm safe and secure? The Death of a "Loved One" (how generic is that?) leaves us barren.

There will be o.k days that I will place in the good category. They sure beat the days where memories bring you to your knees (again). Then there are days where you can truly take in life and enjoy it.

This teeter totter of emotions, the ups the downs, starting over again and again trying to attain some sense of normalcy and purpose.

So dog, I hear you crying and hear my own silent screams as another day dawns...
HH

Comments for Silent Screams

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Nov 19, 2010
for HH
by: Mari

I understand HH. I know the loneliness and yes I too have good days. We have all suffered a loss and understand . We are here for you.

I went to Save Mart the other night after church and got a few things and picked up something and said to myself,''Oh Anthony will like that.'' Oh my gosh. It has been a yr as of the 22nt. For a moment in time he was still with me. I felt lonely after that.

Please know that we care for you. I myself had had good and bad days and that is not the first time I did that at SaveMart. Maybe my husband is still with me in spirit. I get lonely driving around this town and when I feel the emptiness it is time to start praying. I am sensitive anyway and then to deal with that is almost too much.
We care for you so keep posting. Oh God, why did you take the love of my life? Well, I just better keep up the Jericho walkathons and stay close to the Lord. Take care.

Nov 19, 2010
Silent Screams
by: Zoe

that is how it starts. the silence, hearing things we never wanted to hear, like the echo of our footsteps in an empty house. I have wondered which is worse, the tears we shed that others can see or the ones that come inside each time you have to acknowledge another part of the loss.

We are told it will get better, so we tell ourselves it will get better. I don't think it gets better, I don't think it can. This is not the life we wanted, we did not want to watch the person we loved most sick, or die. We do not want this life without them. We are told we are strong, this is not strength, this is desperately treading water, trying not to drown in the sorrow.
This is exhaustion for fighting to have a stable footing when there is none to be found.

I cannot do this without him. Why would I want to.

I hear your screams, they sound like my own.

Nov 14, 2010
I Feel the Same
by: Anonymous

I can totally relate to your post. It has been one year since my wonderful husband passed away and your post describes how I feel - barren, empty, sad.

It is a beautiful Sunday morning but to me it doesn't matter if the sun is shining or if it is raining, it's all the same. I'm sitting here having my morning coffee alone without the smile and conversation of my soulmate. Life will never be the same. Everyone says it won't be the same but you have to adjust to your new life. Easy to say - but I loved my old life and I'm sure you feel the same.

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