I had a new one thrown at me today.Not the usual it will get better stuff. This one told me to watch what I write on this site because there might be others who will be offended at what I say. We all know that if we curse,defame someone or say awful things to someone about how they handle their grief we don't get posted. I hope no one ever gets offended at the things I say,but I,like others,are only stating how we feel in our time of need.That being said,this has been a gift to me.To be able to say what I feel,and know that there are others that feel like me,that I'm not alone.That I'm not acting stupid or weird.This helps so much.I never knew that profound grief was so hard to deal with. I never knew that others felt the way I did.In fact,it is because of someone else saying what they did about going to counseling that's why I began to seek it out.Nothing works for everyone.My income is very low,so I couldn't afford to go to a psychiatrist and this suggestion helped.This site is the greatest thing since hot dogs. LOL I feel better when I can write how I feel this day or that. Like so many others I don't want to leave the house because I know that when I return my husband won't be here.I told one of my sons that I wish he were here to hold me in my grief,and thought that was silly because if he was here to hold me there would not be the grief.He told me that it wasn't silly because: why shouldn't I want the one person who was my rock,my shoulder,my love when I really needed him.It's so hard sometimes to even do the everyday things I need to do:like laundry,dishes,etc.Sometimes I just want to go to bed and stay there. I have to make my self get up and try.Well I'll see how this therapy thing goes.I know not to expect things to change at first.I just want to be able to get through a day without wanting to lie down and quit.GOD BLESS you all and give you strength

Comments for silver

Click here to add your own comments

Sep 29, 2012
For Doreen
by: Linn

Doreen, Thank you for such comforting words. I am sorry that you had to give up the birds that you loved so much. It sounds like though, that you are now able to care for and love the birds in your garden. What beautiful creatures birds are, I have many kinds in my backyard everyday. I put out feed for them and love watching them and knowing that when they leave my yard that they are no longer hungry. I also have a bird bath and am always amazed that in cold weather they still like playing in that water. I believe that God enjoys knowing that we love and care for his creatures that he put on this earth. I wish you well Doreen and may God richly bless you.

Sep 27, 2012
by: Doreen U.K.

Silver your heart is in the right place by writing your poems to bless and comfort others. Even if is is not everyone's cup of tea it will please others. Ignore the people who say negative things. If they don't like them. JUST DON'T READ THEM. May you carry on writing and posting.

Sep 27, 2012
by: Doreen U.K.

Linn there are some very ignorant people around, even if they are in our own family. I never liked pets at all. I was one of those people who was intolerant. I wanted to like pets but couldn't. Till my daughter came home one day with 2 cockatiels that then became 7 & 4 babies came along 11 altogether. When our first one flew out of the cage I was heartbroken. I cried so much I thought I would never recover. Then I lost another 2 more the same way. I then developed Asthma by keeping the birds. Steve my husband got lung cancer. I knew then I would not be anywhere near getting my dream aviary so I gave the birds to a sanctuary where they would be cared for in an inside and outdoor aviary. My heart aches for the loss of my darling birds. Best experience of my life. Now I feed over 50 birds in my garden. They come down and fly over my head because they know I LOVE THEM. God gave us the animals and birds. He knew we needed them. GOD BLESS ALL THOSE WHO HAVE PETS AND CARE FOR THEM. They will comfort us in our lonliness. My heart breaks now at the loss of any pet.

Sep 27, 2012
For Silver and Pat
by: Linn

I am also very glad I discovered this site and was able to write about the grief that I was going through. I love animals very much, but I have not been able to talk about my losses very much with most people, because they act as though there is something wrong with me for loving dogs and cats so much and act as though I should just get over it. I have had at least one family member say to me, "Well it's just a cat" It's not like your family. Well I would have to disagree, because these little creatures are with me everyday and need me so much and have been with me in times of great sadness and loneliness. I have one sister left that loves animals like I do, but my brother that also loved animals died two years ago and left a big hole in my life, because I talked to him about my little pets and he understood my love for them. I have loved people and animals and know that the grief I have went through when my pets or the people I love die is alike in many ways. I do not expect everyone to feel this way and know that we all love differently and with different emotions. This site has helped me to write about some of the losses in my life and I feel comforted in knowing others are going through or have gone through the same things in life. Silver, I would like to say that I have read all your post and you are always understanding and loving with others that are in grief. I pray that all the others on this site are also comforted by knowing they can write about their grief and that they will not be judged harshly for what they feel. When I read the post, my heart breaks for the sadness that people have to face in their life. I pray for all the ones that have lost little pets and the people they have loved so very much in this life.

Sep 26, 2012
by: Pat J.Green Bay,WI

Dear Silver,
This site has been a God Send for me. One of my girlfriends who lost her husband 6 months before I lost mine told me about it. I have been coming on it everyday since then. We can express our thoughts and feelings and we won't be judged.
We all have grief at this time in our life. We did not choose this life, but God has given us this challenge in our life. We can choose to go on living or we can crawl in a hole. Early in my grief, all I wanted to do was hide in my sadness, yet, I knew that would not be healthy. My husband always told me I was a strong woman. I am finding out he is right. He was a recovered alcoholic, so there are skeletons in my closet. We all have skeletons in our closet. No ones life was ever perfect. I loved Red dearly and miss him so very much.
I have read your posts and your poems. You have a way with words. I have never been affended by anything ever posted.
Our grief is a roller coaster ride. My husband will be gone 15 months tomorrow, the 27th. I had alot of sad days, but I also am able to smile too. I know I will always have this ache in my heart, we all will. Acceptance, accept the things I can not change, courage to change the things I can, wisdom to know the difference. My husband had this serenity prayer plaque hanging on the wall in our bedroom, it is still there. I read it often.
My children as well as my husbands family, know I will always talk about Red. He existed, just because he died, dosen't mean I will no longer talk about him. I told them all that will never happen. I am keeping his memory alive. His body is gone, but not his spirit. My FAITH has been such a comfort for me. I don't know what lies ahead for me, but believe my husband will be there to greet me when my time comes.
God Bless All of Us!

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Multiple Losses.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!