sister died. ive learned life goes on.

by sean

im 27. I was 17 when my sister died. she was 20 . its been hard dealing with what happened. I was told during the funeral she overdosed on pills. I found the death certificate and found out she hanged herself. I cant get that image out of my mind. her boyfriend cheated on her with her best friend from hs. her roommate. just like that poof. she was gone. the last time I saw her she was leaving back for school. we shared a moment together. we hugged it out after a fight we had. my older brother made us. I dont think id be alive if I didnt have at least that to live with.

I feel like I cant speak of her when I meet people that dont know my past already.. like she never existed. I tell people I have two brothers. never mention my sister. i keep it a secret. it sucks because my sister was the best. I dont want to make it seem like im ashamed of her. its just hard for me to open up to people. I dont want to talk to them like she is physically alive. I know spiritually she is.

I went to visit her on her bday.i felt sad I was the only one to visit her.. cold winter night with a foot of snow covering the ground. i saw a few grave sites back someone shoveled a path to get to their loved one. . that was mad love. I just climbed over the the high snow to get to her. nothing fancy but I made it.

im recently forgetting the sound of her voice. im going to post up a video of her on her 18th bday party as soon as I can. my mom has the vhs. I have to get it converted.

to keep it short. big lesson. life goes on after death of a loved one. you have to keep on moving forward. its harder than it sounds but I can do it.

Comments for sister died. ive learned life goes on.

Click here to add your own comments

Jul 15, 2014
sister died. ive learned life goes on.
by: Doreen UK

Sean I am sorry for your loss of your sister some years ago. You sound as if you are trying to be brave but may be suffering in silence. I know it has been 10yrs. since you lost your sister, and perhaps you have moved on, but just keep an eye on grief coming back pressing for resolution. Even if life goes on we must try and not be too brave because this is what people expect of us. the type of death affects one's grief and if you ever find yourself struggling with grief please see a grief counsellor. Some deaths are not so easy to recover from. None of us knows if we will ever be done with grief. WE just soldier on taking ONE DAY AT A TIME, as this is the best way forward. Just know that all of us on this grief site will be here to offer you support should you need this in the future.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Sibling.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!