sister died. ive learned life goes on.
im 27. I was 17 when my sister died. she was 20 . its been hard dealing with what happened. I was told during the funeral she overdosed on pills. I found the death certificate and found out she hanged herself. I cant get that image out of my mind. her boyfriend cheated on her with her best friend from hs. her roommate. just like that poof. she was gone. the last time I saw her she was leaving back for school. we shared a moment together. we hugged it out after a fight we had. my older brother made us. I dont think id be alive if I didnt have at least that to live with.
I feel like I cant speak of her when I meet people that dont know my past already.. like she never existed. I tell people I have two brothers. never mention my sister. i keep it a secret. it sucks because my sister was the best. I dont want to make it seem like im ashamed of her. its just hard for me to open up to people. I dont want to talk to them like she is physically alive. I know spiritually she is.
I went to visit her on her bday.i felt sad I was the only one to visit her.. cold winter night with a foot of snow covering the ground. i saw a few grave sites back someone shoveled a path to get to their loved one. . that was mad love. I just climbed over the the high snow to get to her. nothing fancy but I made it.
im recently forgetting the sound of her voice. im going to post up a video of her on her 18th bday party as soon as I can. my mom has the vhs. I have to get it converted.
to keep it short. big lesson. life goes on after death of a loved one. you have to keep on moving forward. its harder than it sounds but I can do it.