Six Days

When my husband was diagnosed with lung cancer, they told me he had six months to live. He came home. He wanted to die at home. I called Hospice they were coming out on Monday. Sunday, his family came over and he talked to them. He was so animated. When they left he fell asleep. I watched him sleep for five hours then sat next to him. He took his last breath at two in the morning. I was there with our two sons. We watched that beautiful man take his last breath.

My problem is why did they say six months when I only had six days. If I had known I would have sat and talked and held him every minute. But I always thought I would have time. Time for us to talk alone. We did but there was so much more I wanted to say. The Dr's should give you the worse case scenario then when he lives past it you can consider it a blessing.

So now I write him a letter every night saying all those things I wish I had said to him before he left me.

Comments for Six Days

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Jan 22, 2011
by: Zoe

It seems many of us have travelled this road
John was diagnosed with cancer on March 10
He fell into renal failure march 15 he died March 21
We also were holding to the 6 months to a year
It is like have hold of a rope as it slowly is being pulled
From your hands then suddenly it rips forward and you look and the rope is gone
I don't think the doctors know when the cancer is aggressive
I went from 6 months to a year to two days later the doctor gave me 24 hours
He fought so hard to stay with me for 6 more days
It is just another question we don't get an answer to.
One breath one step one day at a time

Jan 22, 2011
No Time
by: Anonymous

I am truly sorry for your loss and feel your pain. My wife went into the hospital on a Friday. I was visiting her the next day when they asked me to leave the room while they put a breathing tube in her throat. They did not tell me they were also going to give her sleeping medicine. She passed away two months later. I never had a last chance to talk with her, give her a kiss, or tell her I would see her later. I try to share my experience with others in hope that the same thing does not happen to them. God bless!

Jan 22, 2011
Know what you mean!
by: Cindy

I know exactly what you are saying... my husband had emergency quadruple bypass surgery and I had him home for two weeks. He was doing great and I thought he had it made and he sat down one night and said he felt dizzy and just fell back. All the things I wish I would have said even though we had 35 years together. It just wasn't long enough. We loved each other so very much and I just don't understand. Why?? I still can't understand and it has been a little over two months ago.

We are all feeling the same things and so lonely without the love of my life. He would have been 64 next month... I just don't understand. He did not even know he had heart problems. He was so healthy, jogged and rode his bike!! I miss the other part of my life and am so lost in this world without him. My prayers are with you and I pray that some day we can find some peace, but for now, I miss him so very much!

Jan 21, 2011
I know
by: Lyn Ann

I know. With my husband it was esophageal cancer. It hadn't spread - they gave us hope, or perhaps we just grasped at straws of hope. I don't know. We thought he had a couple of years. He had so much faith in the medical system. You hear so many stories of positive outcomes in the news... He had just renewed his yearly membership at the local swimming pool. He had just bought a set of expensive hearing aids - confident that he would need them for at least a few years to come.

He died on November 20 2010.

I am still angry at the cancer doctors, the medical system. I now realise how little hope there truly is for most cancers. I get many of those flyers in the mail from all sorts of cancer charities - I rip them all up into little pieces.

However... the one thing that was such a blessing, and perhaps in your husband's case too - my Jim was never in any pain. I prayed for this, my prayer warriors prayed for this. And maybe this is why my Jim and your were taken so soon. To spare them the pain, and to spare us watching them in pain.

For that I am thankful.
Lyn Ann

Jan 21, 2011
My heart goes out to you
by: Linda(Quebec)

My husband of just 8 months died on the 18th of December. He had stage four colon cancer which had metastasized on to his liver. At the beginning of December I asked the palliative care doctor if he would still be here for Christmas and she said ...maybe. I spent the next two weeks telling him as I did the last 7 years how much I love him and how he made my life so much richer.
I talk to him all the time and tell him how I'm feeling and how much I still and always will love him.

"If only " are two very important words that I have said so many times recently. Deep in my heart I am sure he knows how sad I am and how I grieve but I will always tell him as I always did how much I love him.......even if it is only to help me.

I'm sure your husband knew how much you loved him because I'm sure you told him time and time again.

I hope, as I do for myself and many others who contribute to this site, that you find peace and can grieve the loss.

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