Six funerals in four months

I am no stranger to grief... it started with my best friend in junior high killing himself, then losing my father at seventeen. Since the age of fourteen I've generally been to two or three funerals a year... I'm twenty two, you do the math.

However, this year has been especially staggering. I found out last week that a childhood friend had fallen and hit his head. I was very shocked that someone so wholesome and alive could die so suddenly and tragically, and at such a young age. I found out later that day that a co-worker had died after a battle with cancer. I knew he wasn't doing well, but it was still a shock. Three days after his funeral, I find out a classmate has died in a boating accident. So this week alone, I've lost three people, one who was especially important to me.

In December, I lost my grandfather and my cat in the same week. My cat had been sick with kidney problems, but was only eight, and I expected her to live many more years. It was one of the hardest things I've ever been through. I miss my girl so much. She was like my child in many ways and there is a huge void in my life.

Then in February a friend of mine overdosed on heroin. I was very shocked by this as well, since I had no idea he was even using again. Last I saw him he was getting his one year sober chip.

Thank you so much for this forum. I realize I am speaking to strangers but it is so great to be able to express my grief. These losses have come so suddenly and in such a short amount of time. I have no idea how to deal with it. One at a time, maybe. But all at once... I'm so numb. I'm angry at god and wondering why this is happening. Especially the kid I grew up with... he was such a good person. They all were, but he especially was the least deserving of such a fate. I can't even begin to fathom what the whole world has lost. I'm sad. I'm trying to be strong. But the news of each death has come before I've had to time to even begin to process the previous one.

For anyone reading this who has been through something similar... even though I don't know you, I love you. I guess it's good to know that others have been through this and they are at least ok. Maybe not great, but ok.

Comments for Six funerals in four months

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Jul 06, 2011
thank you
by: lisa

i don't know when you posted this, but i just saw your response. thank you so much. things have gotten better since i wrote this entry. i am still sad and very confused by everything, but i am no longer stuck to my kitchen floor. life has become fun again.

i am so sorry to hear about your sister. it must be hard, too, being a counselor and having to hear such tragic stories, then to experience it in your own family. i can't imagine what you're going through. sometimes i'm not sure there's an afterlife, and others i feel that i MUST believe there's an afterlife. i know your sister loves you as my friends and late father love me. thank you for your words of comfort... it really means a lot.

May 05, 2011
So sorry
by: Anonymous

I just wanted to say I am so sorry all of your losses. It sounds like it has been such a hard life to lose so many good people since such a young age. I have been counseling people for many years through their darkest hours including traumas and traumatic losses and had crossed my fingers that I would not be as hurt as others may have been. This past summer though I was shocked and so deeply saddened by the violent death of my only sister, my very best friend and I will never be the same.

I can only imagine the cumulative effect of your losses because of my own experience and of the many others I have worked with that your losses are weighing you down with so much sadness. I can only hope that in spite of the ugliness in the world that you can stay resilient and find the light, the positive where no positive really can exist, to keep moving and keep remembering those in your heart.

I have always believed that things happen for a reason and hope this to be true in the face of my sisters violent death (overdose and hanging to death) and the violence I have heard from so many people have experienced over the last telve years. I don't dis-believe that there is some other place they have gone - some place more peaceful that they may continue to shine the light of their lives and find comfort. I hope so. I keep trying to find that in my reading and in the clouds - never noticed them before my sister died. I would like to think so..... I do hope you keep going even when others have not - you must have a purpose yourself in experiencing all of these losses - thank you for sharing and best to you - L

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