Six funerals in four months

I am no stranger to grief... it started with my best friend in junior high killing himself, then losing my father at seventeen. Since the age of fourteen I've generally been to two or three funerals a year... I'm twenty two, you do the math.

However, this year has been especially staggering. I found out last week that a childhood friend had fallen and hit his head. I was very shocked that someone so wholesome and alive could die so suddenly and tragically, and at such a young age. I found out later that day that a co-worker had died after a battle with cancer. I knew he wasn't doing well, but it was still a shock. Three days after his funeral, I find out a classmate has died in a boating accident. So this week alone, I've lost three people, one who was especially important to me.

In December, I lost my grandfather and my cat in the same week. My cat had been sick with kidney problems, but was only eight, and I expected her to live many more years. It was one of the hardest things I've ever been through. I miss my girl so much. She was like my child in many ways and there is a huge void in my life.

Then in February a friend of mine overdosed on heroin. I was very shocked by this as well, since I had no idea he was even using again. Last I saw him he was getting his one year sober chip.

Thank you so much for this forum. I realize I am speaking to strangers but it is so great to be able to express my grief. These losses have come so suddenly and in such a short amount of time. I have no idea how to deal with it. One at a time, maybe. But all at once... I'm so numb. I'm angry at god and wondering why this is happening. Especially the kid I grew up with... he was such a good person. They all were, but he especially was the least deserving of such a fate. I can't even begin to fathom what the whole world has lost. I'm sad. I'm trying to be strong. But the news of each death has come before I've had to time to even begin to process the previous one.

For anyone reading this who has been through something similar... even though I don't know you, I love you. I guess it's good to know that others have been through this and they are at least ok. Maybe not great, but ok.