Six Months- It Seems Like Yesterday
It will be six months tomorrow when my world fell apart. I lost my loving husband,Gene. He was my world. We were married 41 years. He was kind, generous , loving and so very humorous. He made me laugh everyday. I am proud to say we had a wonderful marriage. Although six months have passed it seems like it just happened. Gene was diagnosed with cancer in mid October, although he was in the care of hospics,it was expected he would live several months. He died Dec.8.2010. The nurse had visited the day before and said he was doing ok. She was shocked when he passed. I feel I didn't have a chance to say good-bye, he died in his sleep. I keep replaying that in my head. I found him in the morning. He looked so peaceful. It seems like yesterday. Iam trying to be strong, but it is so difficult. This is the worst pain, being alone, not having Gene to share my life. To hug me, to look after me, to hold my hand and tell me things will be fine. I am a true believer in God and I know Gene is in heaven looking after me, but I feel so lost. I have two wonderful children and five beautiful grandchildren. This has been so difficult for them too. The grandchildren continually talk about Pop Pop and how they miss him. The oldest one is 7 and the youngest 4. It is so very hard for them to understand death. If I can't understand, how can they. I pray that I will have strength and peace of mind and I thank God for giving me 41 years with a wonderful man. I just am so lonely.
Gene, I love you. Please watch over me and our family, give us strength to get through all the difficult days ahead.I find it hard to believe it has been six months- time moves on and I feel stuck, I am as sad today as the day I lost you. I know I need to take one day at a time. Easy to say, so very hard to do.