So healthy and so young, how can he be gone...

by Nicole
(New York)

My dad was 48 and went in for routine oral surgery on an infected tooth January 20, 2012. He had an adverse reaction to the anesthesia and ended up in a medical induced coma for about 4 days. They were going to cool his body down then heat it up and after that was done we were hoping he would wake up... We had so much hope for a while, we didn't think he went that long without oxygen; my uncle has friends that are EMTs and worked on my dad and they said he didn't go that long. What we didn't know until later is my dad had a narrow trachea and they didn't do anything right; he went 15 minutes without oxygen. Basically what that means is his brain was too swollen, it was crushing the brain stem and there was little chance he'd come out of the coma. We ended up taking him off life support January 24th and he passed away at 7am.

There's so many things that are hard about this... He just ran a half marathon 2 weeks earlier. 13.1 miles in 2 hours and 15 minutes. He was young, healthy and our rock. He went in for a tooth and ended up dying. It's so hard to think about, I saw his last texts to my brother setting up a ride after he was done. He had no idea and I think him going in was the last thing he remembered.

It's really hard without him, I am 20. I have an older sister, 23, and younger brother, 18. My mom is also with us... it's just not the same anymore. It hurts so much and I feel like I can't grieve properly because I was thrown right back into school. I just want to call my Daddy and tell him how I'm doing but I can't. It's been a month, I've never gone a week without talking to my dad... It's still very much a dream to me, it was too sudden and totally not expected. A tooth... a simple tooth brought my hero to his end.

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So healthy and so young, how can he be gone...

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Mar 05, 2012
 Just lost my dad last month
by: Anonymous

I'm so sorry about the loss of your dad. My dad passed away from emphysema on Feb.10th and he was only 55. He was so outgoing, funny, loud and passionate about food and life. My twin sister and I went to see him almost everyday and talked to him all the time about everything. A week before he died, he exercised at physical therapy..we thought he was getting so much better and he was set to come home in a few days. Then he had acute respiratory failure out of the blue. It was awful and now we feel so disconnected from our lives, but it's good to believe that he's still with us and your dad is still watching over you and your family.
Mar 05, 2012
 I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL
by: Anonymous

hey i know how you feel my dad went in for a routine operation hes was only 61 he wasint supposed to die its been 4months and im really struggling but what i do is take each day as it comes and do as much as i can and i make sure and look after myself. thats what im doing mind yourself and dont be afraid to cry dont hold it all in.
Feb 24, 2012
 Lost my mom when i was 15
by: Sarah

I understand your pain. i really do. I went through something similar. My mom had some sort of weird reaction to a speech she was giving.. and then they found a tumor in her head. It killed her within a couple of months. I understand the shock, the loneliness, the pain. It doesn't get better, it just gets more manageable.
Feb 24, 2012
 So Sorry
by: carol,seans mom

Nicole, I am so sorry. I understand the cooling down system. I am your dad's age and had a 24 year old son, healthy and beautiful not wake up one night for his overnight shift. We couldn't understand what was happening. They talked of loss of oxygen to his brain and tried the cooling system. I was up for 42 hours straight those days just praying. Just watching my handsome young man lie there. I hoped for a miracle like you. Like your dad Sean did not make it. That was on November 15,2011. I am still in shock and still struggle every day. My brother was sitting with him for a while and came and said "Sean is only 32 degrees" are you kidding. They have so much technology that I truly believe they did their best but unfortunately when the brain dies it is the end. I dont understand still and will never accept his death. He was the oldest of three and my only son. Stay strong and be there for each other. It is a long journey.
Feb 24, 2012
 hugs
by: Anonymous

this must be so hard for you, just hang in there, GOD knows best and he is the healer of all pain. i understand there was so much you still had to do and accomplish together which is not possible now, but just pray and thank GOD for the time you had together.

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