So lost and sad

by Mufassa

I lost my Mom suddenly just over two weeks ago. I was out with my wife and friends when my Dad called me. I answered the phone to hear him say "get home! your mom is not breathing!” I rushed home and walked through the front door only to see my Mom lying lifeless on the floor as the EMT’s tried to revive her. They did a great job and tried their best, at one point I yelled “MOM!!, COME ON MOM!!” but she never came back. I was in shock, I couldn’t believe she was gone. I ran outside and cried so hard. I still don’t believe it’s true.
As the weeks go on it only gets harder. We have a close family and everyone has been supportive but now it’s quieted down and it’s just my two brothers, our wives and my dad left to deal with it. My dad had a really rough weekend this weekend. It’s so sad to see him so torn up. I don’t know what to say to him anymore. They are both 62 and we’re married for 42 years. I felt like my family was in its prime, she saw all three of her boys get married and was so happy.
I’m so mad she was just taken away like that without warning. I feel like nothing will ever make me happy again. Anytime I start to feel ok, I think of her and how I’ll never get to talk to her again. We were so close! I miss her so much, she gave such great advice and was such a great person. I can’t believe I have to go on without one of the people who love me the most. I’m so lost.

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Oct 23, 2013
So sad and lost
by: Anonymous--MI

To all who have lost dear loved ones and now are grieving a huge loss---we have been given a horrible burden that we now must carry and deal with every minute of our lives. We are all in total disbelief that God could ask us to carry such pain and sorrow with us each day and night. But, it has been dealt to us and we have to try to go on for our sanity and for our families. My husband of 43 yrs died of SCA Nov. 2012---torn from me and my family. We are all angry and question God as to how He could take our loved ones from us; but we who trust God and live by faith and trust in Him know that He is a God of love and will abide with us until the end of our earthly lives. Because we still live we have a road to travel on now that is the journey of grief and we are to stay on this road until God calls us to heaven. What we do and say while we are traveling will have an impact on others. We have a choice of giving in to anger, bitterness and guilt and days without joy or we can take God's hand and let Him lead us out of this valley of darkness into some light and a new way to live and try to see joy. I am 11 months into this journey and I cry hard almost every day and I am so sad without my husband--the love of my life and the only love I will ever know. But, I must try to be kind and loving to others and know that while others cannot possibly understand my sorrow(unless they have been in my place) I still must show the love of Christ to them. The way I live my life now will affect people around me. I get angry because I have lost all that was happy and secure and wonderful. I now must learn how to live a new life and this is so hard to do. I cannot do this on my own----God is in control and even though I do not always understand His ways, I know that He makes no mistakes--and I will see my husband again in heaven and though it wont be as life was on earth I know that it will be more glorious and happy than I can ever imagine. Let us hold to the One thing that is Real and try to carry on----and that is God.

Oct 23, 2013
I know how you are feeling. I miss my Dad.
by: Anonymous

I read this and can see similarities to the way I am feeling right now.
My Dad was 62 also. On the 18th December 2012, whilst on his way to work, my Dad collapsed as he suffered a sudden cardiac arrest. A stranger on the bus gave my Dad CPR. However, my Dad ended up being without oxygen for 20 minutes. When we arrived at the hospital I thought they would be able to do a procedure to save my Dad. We were concentrating on his heart. Never for a moment did we think about his poor brain.
My Dad was in a coma for a week. I truly believed we would bring my Dad home.
On Christmas Day 2012 my Dad passed away.
I still can't believe I am writing this. Part of me feels him cuddling me and I can hear his voice as if it was yesterday. However, the other part of me feels like it was a lifetime ago since I have seen him, touched him, heard his gentle voice.
I struggle on a daily basis without him as he was such a wonderful person to all who knew him. My mum has lost her best friend and myself and my brother have lost our Dad. I was also 4 months pregnant at the time. My Dad never got to meet his new granddaughter, who he would have loved so much. I plead with God, why did he not even have a few months with her?
I am sorry to steal your space to tell my story. I read alot of posts on here, but have never submitted anything myself. I can just relate to your story as the shock and suddenness and young age of 62 is the same as my Dad.
I am angry, hurt, in shock and dispair. I miss him terribly and still can't take in what has happened. I am also dreading Christmas approaching. As everyone prepares to celebrate, we have to come to terms with the fact that a year will have passed without him.
A nurse did say at the hospital, " your Dad is special, not everyone is chosen on Christmas Day". At first we were in disbelief that someone could say such a thing at such a time. Though now, as my Dad was a man of his faith and never missed mass in his lifetime, we take some sense of comfort from this, knowing that my Dad went to be with God on the biggest day of the religious calender. It's the only hope we can have. I just wish we weren't having to come to terms with anything. I want him back.

Oct 23, 2013
So lost and sad
by: Doreen UK

Mufassa I am sorry for your loss of your mother to a sudden death.
We go from day to day with utter security and love for our family and then suddenly they are taken away from us and it is the worst feeling in life ever. Even if we try to imagine life without the people we love we can't imagine it in quite the same way when it happens. It is devastating. The emptiness and loneliness is something we find difficult to cope with. I lost my husband of 44yrs. 17 months ago to cancer, and this is just unimaginable that I could feel the utter disbelief that he is no longer in my world. Just day to day life has changed so much. We just go on and adapt to our situation and loss because we can do nothing else. It is all the family times of gathering that we realise our loss more and more each year. All the anniversaries we have to now live without our loved one's. Death is all around us but when it becomes personal then the reality is quite different. Just take one day at a time and look out for your father as he will feel the loss of a wife in a different way to losing a mother. Living a lifetime with someone and suddenly they are not there anymore is a tough adjustment to cope with.

Oct 22, 2013
so lost and sad
by: silver

My situation is similar to yours.However,it was my son who called me to tell me that my mother wasn't breathing.I was not able to get there as I was in the car on the way to my husband's chemo treatment that he could not miss.Luckily,they took him right in when we told them the problem.Still,when I got to the hospital,she was gone.I was there for about 1 min when the Dr came in.I lost it and almost crumbled to the floor.I miss her so much.She and I had become close since I grew up and had children of my own.I moved from Colo. to be here closer to my parents.I got to see them often before they died.Daddy went first then momma 7 mos later.They had been married for over 60 yrs and I guess she just couldn't go on.My heart goes out to you because I know how you feel.My prayers are with you.GOD grant you strength and peace.

Oct 22, 2013
So lost and sad
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry for your loss. I completely understand what you are going through right now. I lost my father suddenly in January. He was fine one day, and gone the next day. He suffered cardiac arrest. The shock of it all is still unreal, and my grief at times seems unbearable. My parents were together 50 years, and my mother is lost without him. I am an only child, and so is she, so our small family must get through this together. I can only tell you that each day it does get a bit easier, but it takes time. Our lives will never be the same, and adjusting to our new normal is very difficult. I hope you find comfort here as you begin to heal. Peace, Barb

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