So many people gone
I don't even know how I feel anymore. From June 2010 to May 2012 I have lost 14 people. 5 cousins, 4 aunts, 1 uncle, 1 of my husbands cousins, my husbands very good friend since he was in grade 1. Also 2 very close friends who were so much like family to us. 1 of those close friends was murdered by his brother. These 2 brothers were close and loving to each other. We still cannot imagine what really happened. I keep expecting to lose more people. I am afraid to let down my guard as i don't want to get knocked down again. I have been having dreams that keep waking me up. I dream about all the people I have lost even before these last 2 years. I dream about other people and myself being in strange situations. Just last week I dreamed that one of my sisters died. It woke me up and then I could not remember which sister it was. I thought things were starting to get better and that happened. I don't think anyone wants to listen to me talk about all this anymore. It's very sad and lonely to act like everything is okay when it's not. Well, I'm doing the best I can. I am trying to be happy again although it is very difficult. Thanks to anyone who cares to read this.