So much loss in such a short time

by Kim E
(Ann Arbor, Mi)

I'm trying to figure out how do deal with so much loss, my head cannot even begin to wrap around any of it. First April 15th 2011 I'm out of town with one of my best friends we get news that my cousin's 13year old daughter was killed in a train accident as if that wasn't bad enough I get up early Sunday April 17th to head home from our trip(and to attend funeral) and I find my best friend "gone" passed away at 43 years young(still waiting for autopsy) then I get home and on April 21st I had no choice, but to put our beloved dog/companion of 10yrs down and now just last week on June 2nd I lost my dad suddenly. I feel as if I'm shut down I won't allow myself to feel anything, I think my body is just staying numb, my pain is so much and so deep please someone tell me where to begin. I'm so lost, sad, angry and so much more. Please help me

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Aug 10, 2011
Normal feeling to have and you're doing great
by: Anonymous

Please know that you are in shock or it sounds that way. We are grieving the sudden loss of three family members at once and we are familiar with the type of grieving when dealing with trauma. Trauma is usually when there is a sudden loss and it's very hard to deal with. We have gone through shock, denial, and now a mixture of anxiety, sadness, anger, and everything else you can think of. You are not shutting down, you are going through a grieving process that is hard. To feel numb is normal and everything you feel and will feel is normal. There are many books you can read that will help you get through this and is you want to when you're ready you can also talk with a bereavement counselor. We have a great one and we feel a little better each week after talking with her. She gives us coping tips but mostly helps build our confidence back up so we can move forward. When we were in shock we couldn't even think of speaking with someone but once we came out of shock we were then ready. The shock for us lasted about two months. You are going to get through this as we will too and if you have any questions or want to comment go right ahead. Talking to people who know where you're at helps you feel better too. Much love and may God bless you.

Jun 13, 2011
So much loss...

The numbness protects you for a few months. It is too much to take in. My sister-in-law lost 2 brothers in one year (one my husband) she is dealing with hubbys death and needs to just bumble along until she can deal with the other. I do not know what to tell you in dealing with multiple tragedies Just know that we are here to listen anytime. We understand as friends and relatives try to but can not. One breath one step at a time.

Jun 13, 2011
On your losses
by: Judith in California

Kim, the first thing you do is pray for strength and understanding in how to deal with each of these losses. Then you take time for you to sit alone and reflect what happiness each of them brought to your life and hopefully you will find peace in those memories. Write a letter to each one telling them what you feel for each one. It's just too much to think about all at once. Know that they are with God now, peaceful and loved.

I wish you peace.

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