So much suffering

by Frances

Mum was 90 last August. We had a party and all but one of the family was there. (She was abroad - no rift,) It was a lovely sunny day and most her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren as well as some friends were there.She had looked forward to it so much and now I am so thankful she had that happy day.

She had coped well as a widow for 30 years and just got on with making the best of her life. She was, until about 2 years ago active. She made baby clothes and dolls clothes. She did puzzles and watched quizzes on the television. She had a good quality of life. I visited often as did my sisters.

Then she kept falling. Her poor face was battered. Her hips were badly bruised and walking was painful. My lovely sister came to be with her but could not manage all that was needed.It all came to a head when Mum fell and could not get up and spent a night on the floor - horrible. So My sister booked her into a nursing home in the hope that she would be looked after until she got some strength back and could return home - or would realize she needed full time care.

On the day she entered the nursing home she had a massive stroke. Now we wonder if the falls were a warning sign. For 10 days she was unable so see, swallow, speak, move her right side or understand anything. She kept banging the one arm she could move on the cot side it was all bruised. We begged the doctor not to do more than make her comfortable and keep her pain free.Eventually she got a morphine pump and slipped deeper and deeper into a coma and then slipped away.

She was a brave woman who lived her last years with great courage. I admired her.And now I miss her. It is so hard to think of all the suffering of her last days, and I am so grateful it is over now.

Comments for So much suffering

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May 07, 2013
Thank you Doreen
by: Frances

Thank you for your comment Doreen.From reading other stories I realize that many others had great sadness to deal with and I am fortunate to have had a well Mother for so long.

It is good to read that your father is now getting appropriate treatment and he is responding to it.

You also have had a great loss in the death of your husband, and yet you can find the will to try to help another person feeling the sadness of bereavement. It does help to share my loss, even with a stranger, so I thank you.

May 06, 2013
so much suffering
by: Doreen U.K.

Frances I am sorry for your loss of your mum. She lived a good long life and as you say she had a good quality of life. This is a blessing. She seems to have had a good grasp on life and lived it well despite the loss of her husband 30yrs. ago. This is such an inspiration to YOU. and to others who observed this. It would have encouraged other's to keep going despite their loss.
I lost my husband to cancer 1yr. ago YESTERDAY and this encourages me to go on.
You were concerned that your mother fell and this spiralled down to her being in care and then dying. You may be correct. My father is 91yrs. and in care now, because he fell out of bed. The hospital care has discovered that he has other serious medical conditions going on which may not have been discovered. His grandson is a paramedic and says that the medication my father is on could have caused water on the lungs and he would have suffered greatly so we see this as a good thing that he is in the right place getting the best care. At 90+yrs. most people become poor in health and look forward to accepting their final years coming to an end. But it is still nevertheless a sad and difficult time of grief for everyone.

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