So Sudden_I miss my Mom!
(Corona, CA, USA)
I lost my mom on January 28th, 2011 due to an aneurysm that ruptured. My mom was 67 years old and still full of life. My mother was worrying about her health for the past two months, but nothing critical towards her aneurysm. The doctors even said that we should not worry about it since it was minor. But I guess aneurysms are unpredictable. I got to spend the last two weeks of her life with her since I was caring for her at the home. My father was on a trip to the Philippines, in which she was suppose to meet him 4 days after her passing. She was looking forward to the family reunion in the Philippines. My mother was suffering from anxiety and insomnia during the two weeks she was with me, just worrying about her health and missing my dad. I tried to keep her hopes up by letting her know, she will be with family and friends soon. I really tried my best to make her happy and care for her. I hold on to moments of her smiling and being "mom." My family and I were so involved in trying to help her with her anxiety and insomnia that we didn't even think that the aneurysm was a concern. I took her to see her doctor 3 days before her death and her primary doctor approved her travel to the Philippines. On January 27th, my mom was at my aunt's house to pack for the PI but during the morning she collapsed. She was airlifted to a local hospital. My father was in the Philippines, my brother was in the Netherlands, and my sister lives in Iowa. Being the youngest of three siblings, I basically had to make the decisions for my mom. It felt like a scene from a movie, in which I didn't want to be in. I just wanted my mom to get better and take her home. But the bleed was too massive and the only decision needed was to allow her to pass naturally. I miss my mom. I spoke to her everyday. She was my joy and seeing her put smiles on my son's faces always made me happy. I still think she is physically here with us, waiting for her to call or visit. I keep telling myself to stay strong, think positive, but I don't want to forget her. I don't even know if it all has sunk in yet. We were so busy with funeral preparations, but now since that is all done and over with, what is next?! I feel an emptiness, I take a step forward but feels like I'm not going anywhere. Or I don't want to go anywhere. I love you Mom! LB"Joy"