So Sudden_I miss my Mom!

by JB
(Corona, CA, USA)

I lost my mom on January 28th, 2011 due to an aneurysm that ruptured. My mom was 67 years old and still full of life. My mother was worrying about her health for the past two months, but nothing critical towards her aneurysm. The doctors even said that we should not worry about it since it was minor. But I guess aneurysms are unpredictable. I got to spend the last two weeks of her life with her since I was caring for her at the home. My father was on a trip to the Philippines, in which she was suppose to meet him 4 days after her passing. She was looking forward to the family reunion in the Philippines. My mother was suffering from anxiety and insomnia during the two weeks she was with me, just worrying about her health and missing my dad. I tried to keep her hopes up by letting her know, she will be with family and friends soon. I really tried my best to make her happy and care for her. I hold on to moments of her smiling and being "mom." My family and I were so involved in trying to help her with her anxiety and insomnia that we didn't even think that the aneurysm was a concern. I took her to see her doctor 3 days before her death and her primary doctor approved her travel to the Philippines. On January 27th, my mom was at my aunt's house to pack for the PI but during the morning she collapsed. She was airlifted to a local hospital. My father was in the Philippines, my brother was in the Netherlands, and my sister lives in Iowa. Being the youngest of three siblings, I basically had to make the decisions for my mom. It felt like a scene from a movie, in which I didn't want to be in. I just wanted my mom to get better and take her home. But the bleed was too massive and the only decision needed was to allow her to pass naturally. I miss my mom. I spoke to her everyday. She was my joy and seeing her put smiles on my son's faces always made me happy. I still think she is physically here with us, waiting for her to call or visit. I keep telling myself to stay strong, think positive, but I don't want to forget her. I don't even know if it all has sunk in yet. We were so busy with funeral preparations, but now since that is all done and over with, what is next?! I feel an emptiness, I take a step forward but feels like I'm not going anywhere. Or I don't want to go anywhere. I love you Mom! LB"Joy"

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Mar 07, 2011
Blessings to you...
by:

When people say "I am so sorry for your loss"... I appreciate that. It's their way of trying to extend some love and comfort. And with that in mind, I want to say to you... "I am so sorry that you are having to go through this sadness, this grief." I feel like i can relate. My mom had a sort of "brain bleed" this past January 7th-- and she passed away on January 22nd. It's still surreal. I keep thinking of the moment of her passing... We were looking into each other's eyes. No words. I was trying to "speak" and offer her support through my own eyes--- "Yes! Now is the time... I love you! And I know you love me. And we will always love each other. And we will "see" each other again. And you are about to cross over into a realm of Light and Love that is beyond comprehension." I do feel very blessed that I could be with her in that profound and awesome moment... And I am also trying to "process" the whole thing, because it was somehow shocking in a deep way to witness the Life Force Energy withdraw from her physical body. I am now just trying to breathe, to rest, to find comfort, to take care of myself... and to give myself permission to feel whatever is coming up. Thanks for your sharing. May you be freed from all suffering and sadness.

Feb 20, 2011
Lost my Mom on Feb. 7
by: Anonymous

I can relate to emptiness. My Mom, too, was my best friend, and it is impossible to fill that void. I want to sleep a lot, and just not think about it. I am trying to just keep on going, and doing, and cry when I want. I cried in church today. Faith really helps, because I believe we will see them again. Death truly tests our faith. Blame or guilt just hastens the process, I believe. The process IS hard, but I guess going through it, gets you to a better place. Prayers and thoughts are with all of you. Mom's funeral was two days later, and I did most of the planning. It is kind of surreal, that they are gone, because, maybe, they really aren't gone, they are just gone from our site. Their spirits live on, and also live in our hearts. God bless everyone on their journey.

Feb 19, 2011
I miss my Paul too...
by:

J.B,

My husband survived brain aneurysm surgery for just over a year. He had a stroke and was never the same. I would have given anything to have him here with me as the old or new Paul.
But in the end, desperately wanting them with us so very much... would we want them to live a quality of life not what they deserved? I know it is backwards all we want is them I sooo understand it. But after all this time, I am just now realising that maybe, just maybe he was not happy with who he had become due to his health.
I know that you miss your mom and the hurt is indescribable. Please write anytime I will listen I will hear and be here always...
HH

Feb 17, 2011
never ending sadness
by: Dawn Louise (the baby)

I can honestly say i feel your pain... I just lost my mother (my best friend) and my father on Jan 6th 2011 (plane crash, plumus county) Both my parents were young at heart , healthy and had many more years to enjoy each other.. I am lost without my mom. Their services were Feb 12th. this week has been terrible for me..I was so busy the last 4 weeks preparing for the "celebration of life" Right.. How do you celebrate when you are in so much pain? Hope your heart heals soon..
112 forever~
Dawn

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