I'm just so tired. I'm in my new little apt now here in NYC. Thousands of miles away from Sweden and my life with Hakan for 20 years. Still waiting for the things to arrive off the ship. I packed up the house in March and it feels like a lifetime ago. It was Hakan's birthday a few days ago. He would have been 62. How sad!!!! All the suffering that went on for the last 2 years. Its burning in my brain all the time. He never once, not one time complained. I feel so alone and miss him so much. next week will be 6 months since he died. Everyone tells me I should feel proud of myself for all I've done in 6 months. They don't understand at all. I'm writing here now because I know deep in my heart you all do understand. Thanks again for the support. Lets all keep moving forward and healing a day at a time. Jack
Jack~ Grief is exhausting. I just celebrated my 38 anniversary all alone. I thought I was fine when the day actually came but the two weeks since that day have been nothing but draining. I have little to no energy. I too have changed locations. My little apartment is actually a studio (725 sq. ft.) which is like a closet next to my former residence. I'm having to adjust to several things. The loneliness is the killer. The quiet evenings all alone when all we do is sit and dwell on our love's death. My husband also suffered so badly the last 18 months of his life. There was no quality at all to his life the last three months. Just a lot of hope for a heart transplant that wasn't to be. I thought the illness and all the uncertainty was hard. Having my husband gone is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I'm really thankful for the time we had together but I miss him so much my heart aches. Every day. It's broken. I have to just do my best to continue on in this lifech Bless you Jack. We all grieve here. Keep coming and letting us know how you are doing.
grief makes us so very tired... by:
Jack,
That is all that you can do is take one day at a time. It feels as f we have not moved all in grief the first 6 months or so but I really feel like the shock of it all lasts well into the 6th month and it is then that we begin to realize how very alone that we are.
I know that you do not want to hear that it takes time. Time is the one thing that manages to allow grief to pass and us to adjust with a life without them.
I am not promising you anything magic at year one or year two for that mater. But you will see things differently as you begin to handle life alone. Yes we were part of them and they of us. Two people that care about each other the way that we did really did make them our other half.
Just take it one day one breath at a time, You can walk a mile in our shoes one step at a time.
