So Young

by Gemma

Gem and John forever

Gem and John forever

I lost my husband of one week to cancer on 24.06.12 after he was only diagnosed on 3rd January. He died aged 33. It all happened so quickly and the original cancer spread so quickly that what finally killed him was the fact the cancer went to his brain and he kept having seizures. The last one which we couldnot bring him round from. We were due to get married on 20th July this year bu with an uncertain prognosis we brought the wedding forward to 16th June and we finally after six delightful years together became man and wife. Just exactly one week after we had made our vows he was dead in my arms. I still cant believe he is gone, I miss him so much. I feel empty and numb and like my whole word has been torn into tiny little pieces. we had so many plans for the future as we travelled the world together. I dont seem to be able to cope at all with what this world has dealt me and am just desperate to feel a little better day by day, but it seems to be going the other way. I talk to him all the time but it just doesnt give me the comfort it did in the immediate days after his death. I think it is such a cruel disease and he was such a wonderful loving person. We fought all year and did everything we could to try and beat this wretched disease but it in the end it got the better of both of us. I am so alone and I just want to feel him by my side again.

Comments for So Young

Click here to add your own comments

Aug 21, 2012
So Young
by: Doreen U.K.

Hi Gemma, I am sorry for your loss of your husband to cancer. You live in London and I live in Middlesex, so if you want to email me for more support then perhaps we can talk on the phone since it is not long distance. Gemma this grief is Unbearable Pain and Sorrow. I know how you feel about this dreadfull disease cancer. It is a scourge and more and more people are dying of this. Cancer seems to be as common as Flu. My husband Steve died 14 weeks ago of MESOTHELIOMA. (lung cancer caused by working with asbestos). It takes 40-60 years for this cancer to develop. Steve's cancer was inoperable, incurable, and aggressive. Steve lived for 3yrs.39days. I was his carer for all this time. Steve died 16 days before his 66th birthday. Steve had officially retired but he couldn't enjoy any of his retirement as he was very ill for the whole of the cancer. We were married 44yrs. and Steve had spent 47yrs of his working life working long hours 6 days a week sometimes 7 and when he was ready to retire and enjoy life HE DIED. Life is just empty and lonely. I am retired and my 3 Adult children live their own lives. I will have to carve out my own life. Life won't be easy for any of us. You are young and will probably be more able to move forward. Grief will be very painfull. I hope that you have family and friends to support you at this time as grief is worse than we can even imagine. For me it is hard to motivate myself to do anything. I just have to be carefull not to turn people away when they ask me to go visit for a few days. I know I have to build a new circle of friends but this is hard as I feel as if I have been knocked down by a bus and I can't get up. You will get tired of hearing one day at a time. But this is the raw reality for us. Even one day at a time is hard if we don't have a reason to get out of bed. You are so very young to become a widow. But then again Death is no respector of age. I hope the support your recieve here will help you in the rough days ahead.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Spouse/ True Love.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!