Someone Help Me!

by Nicole Anastasio
(Albany, NY)

Me and Tim Christmas 2011

Me and Tim Christmas 2011

It has been 15 days since Tim died. I am alone in our room for the first time since then. I am so confused about everything in my life. I am questioning what I believe and I am so lonely. I just want him to come back. I would do anything. Yesterday I had to go back to school, I was crying in every class I was so embarassed I miss him so bad EVERY second...I love him so much I don't feel alive without him, I feel like I am dead as well. I died when I saw him dead in the hospital. I am a shell...I am not living anymore. Someone please help me. Everything is ruined my life is gone and crumbled. What do I do? How can I possibly deal with this? I have so many questions and I know there are no answers...but I can't stop asking. I am hurting so bad the pain is so bad...Look at our pictures. We were so happy...what makes it okay to ruin two young people's happy lives?!?

Comments for Someone Help Me!

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Feb 22, 2012
i kno ur pain
by: Anonymous

the are no answers i still question my fiance lost last yr in march i felt thesame way as u n still am currently feelin his lost ... To me he was everything ,my bff,my soulmate,my child father well my childrens father cuzi found out i was pregnant the day of his wake.. jus kno ,r not the first nor last that this happen to ,jus stay positive ...

Feb 22, 2012
Help In Words
by: Judith in California

Nicole, there is no easy way out of this grief. You must go through it until you reach the peace and understanding we all have found .

The help you require is within you. You now must not let this ruin the rest of your life. It's within you to gather the strength and ask for God's help to see you through it. It is a one second, one minute, one hour , one day at a time process and can not be rushed . I lost my husband 17 and a half months ago and felt just like you the first months but as time rolls along I find I'm okay and through prayer and soul searching I am doing better than I ever thought possible. Of course I still love him and always will but I also must live on and try to be happy for him becasue I know he would want me to be. He would want me to be loved and cared for and not live the rest of my life alone.

Please read the stories her of Lost Spouse and love and know you are not alone and will be okay eventually. Do not worry what others think if you grieve in front of them. You have to be selfish and grieve as you feel you must and as long as you must.

God bless you Nicole.

Feb 21, 2012
by: Annette

There are no real answers. There is no explanation or reason or understanding that anyone can give you.
It is because you love him so much that you feel so much pain now. Don't waste the love by being twisted by the pain. Use it.
As time passes, and it will, things will hurt a little less. That will scare you but its ok.
Make the love you have for him into something worth his life, that he would be proud of. Learn from it, use it to teach you to be a better, accepting, caring person. Be less critical, more thoughtful, understand each person has or will have some of the agonizing pain your experiencing and be merciful, generous, look to your weaknesses before judging others.
I know right now what I'm saying seems incomprehensible, it does not make you feel better, bring him back or stop your anguish and anger. Time will do some of that. Sleep, eat, breath, be with people you trust to help you at this time.
Truly 'this too shall pass', and when it begins to ease a little, remember the best way to validate his life and your love will be to use these 'feelings'. To be able to say I am the person I am because of him and how much love we shared. I am a better person for our life together. I have turned my loss into my strength and in doing so he lives right there with you. Always. I've been where you are now. I have no idea what happens after death but I do know if my love and I meet again I want him to be proud of me and know that our loss wasn't wasted. When he physically left, he moved in spiritually and helped me become a more worthwhile person.
Remember it won't be like this forever. Hold on, reach out and don't forget to breath.

Feb 21, 2012
I lost my love too
by: Robin

Dear Nicole,

I am going through the same mourning as you are. My girlfriend of 15 years passed away on Feb 4th 2012 of cancer.

I experienced an emotional nightmare the first 2 weeks after my honey died. I couldn't eat anything, I could not sleep at all, and I cried everyday.

I still see people and places around me that remind me of her and it makes me want to have her back with me.

I know that she is not suffering anymore and she is in a far better place. That being said, I will always long for her to be back with me, to hold me and love me.

Feb 21, 2012
by: Anonymous

You are not alone. I hear you. I lost my best friend and mom within 9 months of each other. It is 6 months later and I'm still grieving, wondering if this pain will ever go subside.

Feb 21, 2012
Very sorry...
by: Dianna

I am sooo sorry for your loss...
I just couldn't imagine what you are going through being young and in love and to have him taken away so suddenly and what I'm assuming was probably tragically as well has got to be devastating. Please keep posting about how you feel it really has helped me with my own grief, maybe it will help you too. I posted in detail what happened before my Mom passed and it helped. I know it won’t bring him back and again I am truly sorry for your loss… :-(

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