Someone to take care of me

by Yvonne

I always took care of everybody. MY kids, my grandkids, my mom everybody. But Roger took care of me. I could curl up in his arms and he would hold me. A few years ago he had a seizure and his heart stopped 3 times. When he came home he said he didn't know why he was still here except to take care of me. And he did. I miss his strong arms holding me - his tender voice telling me things will be OK. He made my life so wonderful. Now I am alone. So alone. How do I go on. I don't know if I am that strong.

Comments for Someone to take care of me

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Feb 19, 2011
In sickness and in health...


I have raised most of the kids, The last one 12 I struggle with, puberty is awfull! Mix it with grief and you have a reason to take the looney trail to goofyland. But regardless of what life had to deal us. Hubby and I could do it together. I know that being sick or overwhelmed I want to turn to him and have him let me know that we will get through this too.

But 1 is the loneliest number isn't it. Paul would send me to our room and tell me to take it easy. He would watch the kids and try to keep them out of the room. I had to smile when he would yell "Be quiet! your mother is trying to rest!" Having been the caregiver and cared for...I miss it. No one to turn to on good and bad days in sickness and in health. I get it and wish I could be more help. But, I do understand honestly I do...

Feb 18, 2011
Those Big Strong Hands
by: TrishJ

We are all grieving so badly on this site ~ It seems like there are so many of us who have lost our husbands. What do we do without them? I don't know. I miss my husband so much my heart feels like it's going to break most days. I miss his big strong hands, his sense of humor, the little winks he would give me, the I love yous. I've always thought of myself as a very strong woman but nothing has prepared me for this. The loneliness is overwhelming. None of my friends have lost their spouses so I don't have a lot of people to talk to. This site helps a lot.

We'll get through this. We have to be strong and have faith. I'm too impatient. I want immediate results ~ a major fault of mine. I have to remind myself daily to try to see the beauty in life. Blessings to you.

Feb 18, 2011
Someone to take care of me
by: M Mack


You have been taking care of many people you've loved, your mom, kids, grankids, and Roger. You probably never even realized your courage as you do today. You've been through alot and for's your turn. Just hang in there. Worry about yourself for a while. You are still very fragile over Roger and now is the time for you to let the entire scenario sink in. Go slow, don't consume yourself with what's next. It's never a planned route, just small steps through the road to recovery from grief. This road is lonely and takes alot if just to get through it. My prayers for you to find a good new normal to happiness. It will come in due time.....that's what I'm told.

Feb 17, 2011
I don't know either
by: Jean from MN

I don't know either, I am asking myself the same questions. ((((((gentle hugs)))))) It's true, Roger took care of you and Mike took care of me. But now there's nobody there to love us. I don't know how people do it, just breathing in and out, putting one foot in front of the other, it's what everybody says, but it isn't easy. Oh and remember to smile and tell everyone all is good.

Feb 17, 2011
Care for you
by: Judith

Yvonne, It's now time to care for yourself as he would have. I'm having to learn how to do that too. And all of us widows will. I was the caregiver before and it's hard to know how to care for me after all that. First, give yourself time to think of what you really will or won't tolerate in your life now. Second, eliminate negative people from your life as much as possible. Third, when choosing new people to be with make sure they have a lot of qualities, realistic thinking and traits you need.

You now have the right to be picky and expect things on your level. Roger would want this for you I believe.

Take Care and God bless you through to peace.

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