Something has changed
Something has changed for me, in me and about me. Somehow over the past six weeks or so I have emerged from an unhappy person to a happy one. I know that I was feeling better but the other day my boss heard me singing as I was going back to my desk from the ladies room. I didn't even realize I was doing it. I was singing. My first husband used to say that a singing Judy was a happy Judy. A happy Judy has somehow moved in with me.
I don't know quite how this happened. It's true that I have felt better physically and emotionally, and I have reached a point of acceptance where I can talk about Barry and little things he said and did with warm fondness and not overwhelming sadness. Things don't get me down like they did and my confidence in myself is better than it has been for a while. I am beginning to like myself again.
I still am lonely a lot of the time, and I still miss Barry. But now I can think forward to the future and not be afraid. I don't know what's out there but whatever it is, I can handle it.
Can grief have run it's course for me?