Sometimes I Forget The Year My Mother Died
by chicamarron
(Florida, USA)
The title of my story explains something I have gone through, and nothing that I am proud of. My mom died my second year of undergraduate studies at a well-known and highly established state university. The sad part is, I have a hard time remembering the exact year in which my mother died. I have a hard time placing a finger on that date, was I smoking too much marijuana? Was I drinking too much the months before her death? I doubt it. Because according to the way I spiraled after her death, the pre-mother death years (Cold, I know, but a good way to explain what I am trying to say) were NOTHIN compared to how I reacted to her death and I still remember everything after her death, and before it, too. I just cannot remember the year she died. For God's sake I doubt I'd have remembered the date, but she so happened to have taken the ticket to heaven on my boyfriend's birthday. So, when people tell me " oh my, it has been _____ years since your mother passed, how are you coping?!" I want to tell them to screw off. Do not remind me of how many ill years Ive spent without my very ill mother. And second of all, DO NOT remind me that I actually forgot to remember when she died because maybe it is a coping mechanism, but maybe it is more of a forgetting mechanism. I have YET to meet a person who has lost another, and loves to recount the years they have spent without that person. With that being said, I think I have had the most therapeutic rant on this website's little blog--ability--session...For all the girls, boys, men and women who have lost a mother, and have a hard time coping, just remember, as much as many will tell you that time heals all---the truth is, only time can heal what you allow it to heal. so express yourself. and cry. get mad. rebel. write. and do not forget, most importantly that the best to fill the void that the death of a person leaves, is to fill it, with love, and ONLY love. hatred and anger will get you nowhere far, it will leave you closer to death than you were on the sad day you went to that funeral. so be positive. and spread knowledge, kindness and love---<3 prayers to all of you have a lot
