by scott

about a month ago my girlfriend just left me ,no goodbye no letter nothing. it came out of the blue .
here's my story i'm 47 now she's 50 .we met at work ,became friends.she was married, i was just out of a 11 yr relationship .she ended up getting separated ,during this time we never did anything more than hug hello and goodbye.She was moving belongings i helped her with that .ONCE the divorce was finalized we'd just hang out from time to time for about a month .we started dating exclusively.
WE we're in LOVE big time .she's told her parents she's crazy about me ,told people she could never nor want to hurt me cause i was soo good to her unlike her x husband.we had a strong connecting .
WE'VE had minor issues nothing big we never raised our voices to each other or got in shouting matches .SHE has 2 teenage boys from her marriage, the x bad mouths me so doesn't want me around the kids,she got her own place so she can see her kids.i understood all that .
LATER into our relationship we talk she says she doesn't see us taking the next steps until both kids are grown 18, or 21 i'm o.k. with that and try to be supportive .
NOW lately she seems distant from me ,her kids,work,her dad is ill etc all on her mind .i understand.THEN some flat out lies i've caught her in and when i did i bought them to her attention we discussed the issues one weekend she told me her son had a double header ball game and would see me after i find out their is no ball game,when i see her i ask her about it -she tells me she spent the day with her son ,i say cool BUT you could have just called and told me ,her reply she doesn't want to ''check in'' whenever plans change ,i say well just out of respect .the issue gets put to rest.
ONE Sun night she comes over my place asks if i've had dinner yet i said i hadn't ,she cooks us dinner she's still acting distant towards me we small chat .she says she's fine. i had to go lend the neighbor an extension cord told her i'll be a min, she says o.k. i come back to my place my backdoor is closing she's in the parking lot ,i go after her ask what's wrong ,i get no reply .we get into a discussion ,she ends up going to her place , says she'll see me later in the week.
I come back in on my counter is a box with all the jewelery i gave her , i call her no day i call at work she says she doesn't love me anymore, and isn't in love with me anymore and it's over ....
I am shocked and hurt big time ,i try to make arrangements for us to sit and talk she doesn't want to it wouldn't change anything she says .I offer we go talk to one of the pastors we know she agrees great i think the morning of our meeting she calls me and cancels ,i ask what have i done ? she says i did nothing ,it's her .i ask her for an explanation she tells me their isn't one and doesn't always need to be one .
I drop by her place to talk i tell her please help me understand this ,theirs nothing to understand we're not a couple ,i'm not your girl, we can be friends but just the kind that call each other once in a while to say hi .
NOW i am moving and have some things of hers and stuff from here she likes .i call and ask her when she'd like to get them , she says she'll let me know i should take them and keep them for her , i say no problem .
AGAIN i ask just to sit and talk with me so i can understand
she stops by i read her somethings i've written she said it was nice ,i say i don't believe anything catastrophic happened between us that we can't talk about and work through she agrees BUT says she has nothing to sat ,i say i'm moving a new environment maybe good for us i'd like you to be a part of it, let me move get settled in invite you over we talk ,she says she'll check out my new place when she wants to, she's having fun doing what she's doing lately -i say i always wanted you to have fun with your kids,family,girl friends and then when your done with time with them we can have our time she doesn't want anything to do with me ,i did nothing wrong,i shouldn't think of her etc .
AFTER 4 yrs together how can she just turn off her emotions ?
we both agreed we weren't ''re bound'' relationships for each other,she agrees we fell deeply in love .NOW i call i get ignored , i leave a message -no reply I even said in the past when you messed up you asked me to forgive you and i have and you asked if i'd take her back and i have with open arms ,NOW i'm asking for just one chance and she says she don't know if she can do that .theirs been no contact or very extremely minimal for a month now .
I am hurt,confused,sad,EVEN guilt i did something and broke her heart , i don't sleep ,or eat much , i don't feel much like doing anything.
I hope and pray they'll be a knock on my door one night and it will be her and ready to talk and give us another try i still love her deeply she was my everything all i wanted was to make her happy and be supportive and give her unconditional true love .i know her girlfriends that don't even know me or met me even are in her ear and she's listening to them for some reason ,she's just not acting like the woman i met and fell in love with .

Comments for SOO HURT

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Jun 18, 2011
by: Anonymous

Sherry umm that was her name also except she spelled it Sherri
theirs no chance of her and her ex husband getting back together he is re married and adopted her children as his .
SHE is over him ,she has been a while ,even towards the end before separation and divorce they weren't together she'd often sleep at a girl-friends or her parents and didn't even want to consider reconciling .he cheated on her right under her nose .he threw away some of her belongings , and gave his new wife some of her things [ pretty crappy thing to do ]
WE'D often jokingly say wow our relationship is so different that what we had left is this true love and how it should be .
I believe now she is at least seeing someone
it's really hurtful that you can spend 4 years exclusively with someone and know them for about 2 yrs before ever doing anything more than a hug hello or goodbye that they can just walk out on you with no explanation to you , after all they've said and done with you HURTS their out enjoying things like they don't have a care in the world while your sitting at home being miserable and can't even think of going out AND being told you've done nothing wrong. 4 years together without an argument or raised voices and it's over in the blink of an eye no conversation about it. it took two people o start the relationship and one day one just decides your fate by ending it ....

Jun 18, 2011
by: Anonymous

Maybe she is back communicating with her ex, or maybe someone else came into her life, and you were there to help her through her divorce. She probably didn't tell you the whole truth about what she was feeling or doing, or maybe she doesn't know what she is doing herself. Apparently, she was hiding something.

You will have to give it time. No contact. If it was meant to be, she will come back. Don't act desperate. It only pushes her further away. Give her all the space she needs.

In the meantime, take care of yourself.

I also was left by someone who did not give me an explanation. He suddenly turned hostile towards me, and told me he met someone else. I no longer was relevant. To be rejected like that is devastating, especially when you still love them. This after 14 years together. It has been 7 months and I still feel very sad and hurt.

It is very hard to let go of someone you love. But, if you don't, it will be alot harder to get over them, if they don't come back. Mine has not come back. I have to go on, with a heavy heart, and pray that I will meet someone who will love me unconditionally. Right now everything seems bleak, but you just have to keep on going. After being burned, it is hard to trust someone again, but you have to have faith. It is especially hard when you expend all your time and love on that person, only to have them walk right out of your life as if you never existed. That means it just was not meant to be. Only for a time. Not forever. Life lessons have to be learned, to make you stronger. Always someone gets hurt.

Don't put your life on hold. People will throw you a curve ball when you least expect it. Happiness and love will find you when you least expect it.

I am sorry for your hurt, and I know how you feel. We are the walking wounded. But, don't give up, be strong enough to accept what comes your way, and learn from it.

Maybe she has not gotten over the hurt that her ex imposed on her. She has not healed from that relationship. Whatever the reason, it is her problem, not yours. Give yourself enough credit for what you did do, and stop blaming yourself. It really is about her, not about you.

Stop thinking about if you shoulda, coulda, woulda, it would not make a difference. It is what it is now.


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