soon to be ex-husband with woman 37 years his junior

by Lola
(Orange County, CA, USA)

After 26 years of marriage and four sons later, I found the courage to divorce my cheating lying husband who frequented sex clubs in L.A. and in the Philippines. He moved out of family home, stopped paying all household bills, hired a nasty unethical lawyer and has succeeded in not having to pay me any alimony these past 12 months. I have been searching for full time employment--I am a math teacher with an administrative credential and a Master's in educational technology. Bill collectors calling daily, don't know when I will have to move or where to get the funds to do it. My twin college age boys had to get college grants due to father spending all his money on his 27 year old Ukrainian girlfriend who is living with him in an upscale apartment. My husband is an executive for has spent $200,000 to his lawyer fighting me in family court and succeeding. The judge refused to adjudicate on spousal support 16 times in 9 months without any valid reasons for doing it. My husband has hidden family assets in the Philippines apparently for many many years now. I have no money to fight for my rights. The judge, who just retired, was buddies with my husband's attorney. It's been a nightmare. The ex invites our four sons to dinner and flaunts his girlfriend who is the same age as our oldest son! He travels with her and drives formula one cars while our boys and I barely have enough money to buy food! I have applied to over 100 positions for math teacher/assistant principal with no luck. I wonder if my age is against me-54. I loved my husband. I was blind for so long to his double life!!!!I loved him so much! I was faithful and committed to our marriage. I had put up with his verbal/emotional abuse and his controlling behavior because I wanted to keep my family together, for better or worse. I am scared that I will end up homeless and destitute. My lawyer is going to drop me due to nonpayment of lawyer fees. How does this happen in the United States? What is the point of all the laws if the judges don't follow them? All I can do is wake up every morning and put one foot in front of the other and hope this nightmare will end soon and that I can support myself and my sons. The thought of dating or finding a companion who will love and honor me are foreign ideas. I don't think I will ever get over the betrayal, the deceit, the lies and the nastiness that my husband and his lawyer has brought into the family courtroom. It's so bizarre. It is unbelievable that the ex was seeing many women throughout our marriage and now he has settled with a young illegal immigrant who is our son's age. We aren't even divorced yet!!!

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Apr 08, 2014
soon to be ex-husband with woman 37 years his junior
by: Doreen UK

Lola your story made me angry for all the injustice you are facing. Often when one is living with Integrity you could feel worse off and feel the whole world is against you. This is often the order of the universe now. When you do right it doesn't always go well with you. In fact you often get a raw deal. BUT. You can't buy Integrity, and it is PRICELESS. You are trying to do the right thing by your family and trying to get back on your feet and not live off of Social Security benefits. I am sure soon you are due to have your luck change for the better. DON'T GIVE UP!. If you belief in God reach out to HIM. He will see you through your worst days. Your EX. hasn't seen his bad days yet. We all get them. No one gets off with THE PERFECT LIFE. Your EX may think he is winning. There is so much corruption in high places that it can even creep into the courtroom. Better to have God as your Judge because God judges fairly. Just when you think you are going under. God comes alone and throws you a lifeline. This is my Prayer for you. KEEP HOPE ALIVE. Even when you don't feel it. BELIEVE IT.! Get Joel Osteen's books and they will encourage you and give you strength to carry on even in the middle of this stress. You have a high Profile Resume which should stand you in good stead. All you need is a lucky break. Visualise it! It will come soon. You are doing nothing wrong. You are trying hard to do your best. You have 4 sons. They will surely look out for you as their mother never forgetting how you have nurtured them. If your 4 sons work with you in a united way I am sure you are on to a winning streak. You haven't reached retirement age so should still be able to secure full time work despite your age. All over the world even in the UK there are difficulties we face each day that challenges us, but also stretches us. You will come through this ordeal stronger. I wish you all the best and Hope that Life throws you a lifeline and things keep getting better for you By God's Grace.

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