special lonely days




To everyone here,I just want to say thanks for all the support for the grief we go through.It doesn't matter what caused it,just that we have to learn day by day how to deal with it.The special days are the hardest:birthdays,holidays, wedding anniversaries,death anniversaries, and other special days.Even the regular days can be hard.I saw a commercial where the couple was celebrating their time after the kids were grown and had taken a vacation.That made me cry.My love didn't make my 62nd birthday when we were going to do just that.(he has been gone 27 months)There WILL ALWAYS be triggers.There WILL ALWAYS be bad days.The good part is that there WILL BE good days more often as time goes on.We WILL ALWAYS remember our loved ones.They are in our hearts forever. The stronger the bond the more it hurts.I believe in the statement,"It's better to have loved and lost than to have never have loved at all."Love is the greatest and best thing on this earth.I feel so blessed to have had the love and friendship of a good man for 33 yrs.I miss him terribly still. I still have those split seconds when I expect to see him when I wake up or go to bed.It's still hard to watch a TV show or movie he loved to watch.I still have days when I would rather stay in bed and sleep to keep the sadness away.I still have days when I get depressed and don't even want to get dressed. The good part is that they are becoming less over time.Writing on this site,"talking" to others who know how I feel helps.I hope I can help others through the rough days the way others helped me.It is hard to go on when half of you is gone.One thing that helps me is that I have faith I will see him again. I have this feeling in my heart that it will be even better because there will be no problems or worries.GOD bless you all. I'll continue to keep you in my prayers.

Comments for special lonely days

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Nov 10, 2013
thank you
by: Anonymous

this is a great help I have family but it is not the same as losing the love of your life. thank you.

Sep 07, 2013
special lonely days
by: silver

to anonymous and S.I know how it is to send your dad on ahead of you and how to watch your mom go through the grieving process.My dad died Dec 2009 after being with mom for 64 yrs.They married at 19. I worked full time and didn't get to see my mom everyday and I'm sad now that I didn't. She gave up,sat down,and died of a blood clot 7 months later.I didn't understand that type of grief until my husband died 11 months later.Be there as much as you can.Time moves so fast.GOD be with you all.

Sep 05, 2013
Special lonely days
by: Anonymous

Just read your post and it describes my life too. I am so lonely although I am not alone. I have my family but that horrible sadness and loneliness that won't ease is always there. The ache in my heart will not go away. The triggers you mention at the moment are all the time. Because my darling and I were together for 40 years, everything I do or see we did together. The feeling I was cheated of many more years together (my wife was only 58) is very strong. I come to this site often and it's so sad that so many people are going through heartache. Trivial things annoy me. People ringing talk back radio and complaining about mundane things. Don't they realise that the most important things in their lives are right in front of them and that they are so lucky to think that the most important thing to them is complaining about politics, money, etc....
Like you, I just want to stay in bed sometimes, not get dressed, just try and sleep away my sadness.
My prayers and best wishes to you and everyone who is greiving.

Sep 05, 2013
Thank you
by: Anonymous

Thank you for your inspiring post. I lost my Dad eight months ago, and my mother lost the love of her life. They were together almost 50 years. He didn't quite make that special anniversary. Our world has been turned upside down. Some days we are "ok", but other days are just awful. I have two children and a husband that keep me quite busy, but she has been left all alone. I can't imagine how hard it is for her and how lonely she is without him. I talk to her everyday and try to see her eveyday, but I cannot replace what they had together. It is so hard for me to watch her grieving. She will never recover from this, and sometimes I think she doesn't care anymore about anything. For some reason this week has been especially hard for me. No specific triggers, I have just been very upset and seem to cry all the time. I know this is normal, and I am just trying to go with it, but grief is exhausting. I cannot say enough how THANKFUL I am that I found this site. All of you have helped me on my journey, and I keep you all in my prayers.

Sep 05, 2013
Special lonely days
by: Doreen U.K.

THANK YOU for your wisdom and expression. You ECHO everything I feel and could not express as well as you have done.
I also have a strong belief in God and know I will see my husband again. This Hope keeps me going on each day and gives me the strength to help other's with encouragement.
You have helped me greatly by your expression and your Positive encouragement. God Bless You Always. May life treat you well. Best wishes.

Sep 05, 2013
Thank You
by: S

Thank you for your thoughtful message to us all.

Indeed we are all encouraged being here, and feel support and hope knowing that others can relate and feel what we do too.

It's true, it seems there will always be triggers, the special occasions and dates are harder and some regular days surprise us sometimes too. Getting through with our faith, family, friends and the community on here definitely helps. Even the memories of our loved one who is lost helps too.

Sorry for your loss, 33 special years and so sad he was no longer around for your birthday. He is there in spirit and in your heart, forever until one day in Heaven.

My mom who lost her husband (our precious dad) of 47 years, one year ago, feels the same. Some days she can face the home, other days she escapes to the garden to avoid seeing the things that used to give her so much pleasure and now just feel like "things" without any joy because he is no longer there to enjoy it too. We talk daily, and share the good and bad, and it's especially special when either of us dream about Dad. So far they have all been very good dreams and leave us at peace. We always share our thoughts and feelings and that helps too - no avoiding the hurt, he was precious, we miss him, so we talk about him. He is still very present in our lives one way or another, forever.

Indeed, one day in Heaven will be very different. They have gone ahead and are preparing a place for us.

May God Bless you too, may each day bring you blessings and beauty out of the ashes, and we will keep praying for you too.

Love S

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