Stephanie-I miss you
My lovely daughter Stephanie took her own life a year ago on November 15th 2011 and it has been a very dark time for me. I can’t believe a year has passed. I was so involved in her life and now she is gone. The phone does not ring any more with her voice at the other end. I loved her so much and sometimes I think I did not tell her that enough but I did try to take care of her as much as I could. Her Dad my ex-husband passed away two weeks later from cancer. I think he gave up his really brave fight after Stephanie went and she in turn had become really depressed after finding out he was sick and dreaded seeing him die.
It was just a terrible time and everyone was so shocked at attending two funerals within two weeks. It seemed like a nightmare and I keep reliving it. My son Stephen passed away on October 17th 1997 so the Fall will always be a terrible time for me and my youngest daughter. She is all I have now. Things can never be the same again but I am trying my best to go on without them all. I hope other mothers on this site will say a prayer for me. It is true that it is the worst thing to lose a child but to have lost two makes me feel I did something wrong.
I have been seeing a counselor and she is very understanding and I would urge anyone who has suffered a loss to speak to a professional because it has helped me.
God bless you all and I hope we all find comfort and a measure of peace from this site. It helps to pour out our feelings.
Stephanie is on the right in the picture with her sister