Still feel numb

by Christina Landry
(Bridge City, Texas)

I lost my mom on December 10th, 2009. My mother was put in the hospital after she woke up in the middle of the night with 103 fever, she has had lung problems for a long time. They could not put a name on what she had wrong with her. She ran fever and eventually was put was put on life support for over three months. I watched my mom sufferin pain-- machine breathing for her.

The hospital performed a bronchial scope on her when she was admitted to the hospital, something went very wrong, she never recovered from the test. We still don't know if they did damage during the test. She had a coughing spell for an hour after the test, dad called for help and eventually had to go find somebody because they were making shift-change-- my mom went code blue because they were making shift-change, I am still very angry about this, that is how she was put on life support.

I watched the desperation in my moms eyes day after day. She did not want to be hooked up to that machine. She wasted away day by day, we finally took her home with hospice; she was home for sixteen hours when she passed. It was the most terrible thing I have ever been through, I am grateful that I was there when she took her last breath, but it has been a very traumatic losd that me and my family are still grieving over.

My mom was a very loving mother and grandmother, very meek and shy, never ever hurt a soul. She will be very missed and I am not sure how I will be able to make it through mother's day without her, it will be exactly 5 months she has been gone, and it still plays through my mind every day.