Still Grieving

by Deja
(Boston, Ma)

I told a story on here before called "My Everything" about losing my mom on May 3rd, 2012. It was very unexpected, i thought this day will never come. If i did things differently, my mom would probably be here right now. I wish i could give her one last kiss and tell her i love her. This was my first death I've ever faced especially with someone so close to me. I wouldnt call my mother my bestfriend because we was close but WASNT AS close but i DEFINITELY loved her more than i loved myself. Tomorrow will be 5 months since the love of my life has left me on this earth alone and I still cry every other day and wish she would come back. If anyone can text me(617-858-4066)and give me a choice of words that will get me out this hole, please do, My name is Deja and i just feel like i have no one. So i would appreciate it if someone understands.

Comments for Still Grieving

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Sep 09, 2014
still griefing
by: coaster

Thank You for that it brought tears to my eyes
I lost my brother be eater 2013 then mom on April 16 2014 she was my best friend I still cry and I should of been a better son she did everything for me now she gone I cant get her back she was my best friend now I all alone I am the last one she didn't tell me she had cancer I should pay more attention to her now I still have crying moods rember me of her and night mares with death
I go to my grave for the regrets
thanks for that friend

Sep 09, 2014
still griefing
by: trouble

thank you for that it brought tears to me
I loss my mom in April before Easter she was my best friend and I don't think I ever going get over it I should of been closer then I was I regret it every day I go to my grave for regrets
I all alone now and every day I still have crying moods sad movies nightmares I don't think they every go away

I still remember that day she died
your not alone friend I in the same boat,
thanks

Nov 05, 2012
I understand loss more than I care
by: A fiend in deed.

To Deja,Silver and Doreen My heart goes out to all three of you. I understand your loss. I lost my mother as it was told when I was somewhere between 18 mos. and 2 my mother's mother passed when her baby sister was about 10 months. My only grand mother passed when I was between 10 and 11. I was passed around like a dish cloth until I was old enough to care for myself. I have experienced more loss then I care to express. I have always felt way didn't I just lose my mind, and in cases I wanted to. At the young age of 13 I found myself leaning on and trusting in God I have experienced more downs then ups. To be truthful without my belief in God I don't think I would be here typing this to you.Now that I am grown my life is much better. Please know it will get better as time passes. Not saying you won't get visited by your thouhts but it will get easier to live and breath again. if you find yourself needing someone to listen feel free

Oct 05, 2012
still grieving
by: silver

my mother died June 30,2010.My father had died 7 months previous.They had been married for 64 yrs.She raised 6 kids in a military life.We moved on average every 3 yrs all our life.Just over 13 yrs before my dad died he got cancer.Supposedly he only had 1-3 yrs to live.With a great doctor,new medical advances and my mother as well as his scientific desire to read everything on his disease,he lived much longer.I think that when he die she died not only because her love was gone but also because she had no one to care for anymore.I felt guilty for not being there when she fell to the floor not breathing. I found out later that she still had a weak pulse.My nephew did CPR until the ambulance got there. I think she would have died anyway but being a nurse I felt like I had failed not being there. I look back and wonder if my training would have kicked in or if I would have panicked.Also I was in my car on the way to the doctors for my husband's chemo treatment for bladder cancer.He could not miss that and take his chances.I got to the hospital and within a few minutes was told she had died. My mother and I were friends since I became a mother also. I will always miss her.

Oct 03, 2012
Still Grieving
by: Doreen U.K.

Deja, I am sorry for your loss of you mother 5 months ago. My husband died on 5th May 2012, also 5 months ago. It is a hard place to be with our grief. I have lost other people before I lost my husband. But this loss of my husband is the worst thing that could ever happen to me. Nothing compares to this. It will be the same for losing a Mom, Dad, or child. They are called our immediate family so we feel the grief more. Because this is your firt death it will be especially hard to you to go through. You won't know what to expect and how long this pain will last.
First you feel. Shock, Disbelief (as if this didn't happen it is all a bad dream). numbness. Crying and searching for your loved one you lost. Your grief may be frozen (as if you can't feel anything and you can't cry) When you start to thaw out from frozen grief you will cry and feel the sadness of your loss. Many people are not close to their moms but they stil love them. When someone close to you dies like your mom you feel and emptiness and a lonliness which is why you feel like you have no one and you feel all alone as if you are the only one suffering grief and no one will understand. WE ALL UNDERSTAND. The PAIN of GRIEF is the same pain for all of us which is why we understand. We HURT the same way. We don't know how long our grief will last as it is a different experience for each of us. But when we hurt less from our loss this means it is the beginning of the Healing Process.

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