Still heartbroken

I lost my beautiful son suddenly to SADS December 27, 2010. I moved 5 miles from him in 2006 so I would not miss anything as a mother or grandmother. He married a LDS girl and I am not LDS. The daughter in law seem to be good to me until December 27, 2010.
It took the daughter in law 30 minutes to get the fire department 2 miles. She had called the neighbors to come help her before she did anything. They have three beautiful girls 12, 10 and 2. All those people in the house for over an hour and the girls never woke up. I'm 5 miles and on speed dial. My son called me one to two times a day. They never called until they reached the hospital. By that time he was gone. When I arrived her entire friends, Bishop and family from all over where at the hospital. I asked to see my son and talk with the doctors and was told no. Not yet by her family. I went outside to fall apart and call my daughter his sister and father who had not been called. When they let me see my son it was with them. I sat in the fourth row of his funeral behind her entire extended family. Even though I was given no time with my son alone. I never left anywhere until he left. The daughter in law sisters said I was a terrible mother and my son hated me for which my niece took up in my defense. All this on face book. I asked the daughter in law to have them stop and she said it was approved by her and I was taking it wrong. Then she sent me a ten page email telling why I can not see the girls. And for some reason I go from a loved grandmother to hated grandmother per her letter.
It has been 13 months and I still can not move on as I live 5 miles from the daughter in law and her family. Economy bad right now so I can not sell my house. I lost not only my son but his entire family. My heart bleeds everyday.

Comments for Still heartbroken

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Feb 11, 2012
thank you
by: shannon

thank you everyone for your kind words of support and encouragement to my aunt. She is a wonderful mother, grandmother and aunt. We had a wonderful childhood full of encouragement. She raised a caring, devoted, loving son, and he adored her very much. No person who suffered a loss should have to also endure the pain and cruelty my aunt has been subjected too. I believe the girls will seek her out when they are older because she is a devoted and loving grandmother and the girls will remember that. I pray for a moment of peace in each day for my aunt. Prayers to all of you and hope that the support of each other brings some peace. My aunt is wonderful and really needs all the support. Thank you all so much. Peace be with all of you. xoxo

Feb 11, 2012
Thank you
by: Still Heartbroken

I have been struggling for so long with no help. That I thank you all for taking the time to comfort me and understand my pain. I have found a local group with compassionate friends and will be attending their next meeting. And again Thank You all. The comments you put down into words helps me a lot. All my love to you all for the pain you are also dealing with. I read all the stories.

Feb 08, 2012
loss of a son
by: Anonymous

Im so sorry for your loss. You not only lost your beloved son but also your granddaughters. I can tell you that in time(waiting is the hard part)your granddaughters will grow up and come to you. Just as they remember their father,they rememeber you. Nothing their mom can do will erace those memories.
If you can ,send cards and gifts to them on birthdays and holidays because the truth ALWAYS comes out and they will know that you care. If their mother chooses to hide them from them..... thats on her.
PS I lost my son last month from complications of type 1 diabetes.

Feb 07, 2012
by: so so sorry :(

I am so sorry about your sad that she would withhold your grandchildren because of her selfish ill feelings whatever they may be. The pain of loosing your son is difficult enough - I lost my 23yr old son on 10/25/2011 and miss him everyday....I still can't believe he's gone. I am going to seek out that compassionate friends group a reader wrote about - I need help getting through this and figuring out how to live my life without my son :(. Hope to see you there - take care!

Feb 06, 2012
So sorry
by: Anonymous

It sounds like you are in an awful situation...I'm so so sorry. Losing your son is already so painful and I can't imagine having to deal with his vengeful wife as well. My son wasn't married, had no children....was only 23 when he died of cancer 18 months ago. I miss him with all of my heart so I understand your grief. If you haven't already I highly recommend The Compassionate Friends group. They are keeping me from shooting myself. They also have a facebook group with a lot of other parents who are dealing with the loss of their child/children....Please join us there and talk about your son.
Shirley - mom of Dimitri 7/13/87 to 8/9/10

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