Still hurting, lost and lonely
This will be my second post. I lost Mike suddenly on 2/12/10 due to a massive heart attack while we were sleeping. I still have those images in my head, my heart still hurts today as much as it did then and I miss his face, his touch and his companionship. I work and I continue to raise our youngest child of 15 alone. When I got up this morning I could tell I was already in a funk and I knew how the day was going to progress. I didn't want to be around anyone.
I'm crying while I type this. I looked at his photo on the mantle and just started crying because my heart hurts so much. I tried to locate some type of support group in my area and couldn't really find anything.
I just don't feel like I have a life anymore. I feel like I am going through the motions each day for everyone but me. I don't even know what it is I need to do for me anyway. I never envisioned my life like this and I'm sure no one has that has lost their spouse. It is supposed to be our time to be together and we were looking forward to it. We had raised two children and Mark was 15 and on his way to adulthood. We finally had some time to just be together and talk without the exhaustion that comes with raising children.
I'm sorry - I'm just rambling. Perhaps this wasn't the best time to post. My mind is going in a million directions right now.