Still in love after 21 years.............

Iam writing this story all alone in my bed and feel so emotional right now with everything!.
Im 37 years old,married to a wonderful man and have 2 lovely children age 6 and 8.... you could say that my life couldn't be better..........but,
Im madly in love with my first true love from 21 years ago and it's crazy an is making me so sad.I'm lying to my husband as he hasn't a clue about my feelings for this other person.I feel awful but can't help how I feel.
I've never forgot him,I tried to contact him just before I got married but failed to do so,if I had contacted him I know I wouldn't of got married as he would of unsettled me and I know I would of wanted to be with him...it's utter madness!.
5 years ago I discovered Facebook,contacted him,we exchanged a few messages,went out for a drink,chatted,I fell in love all over again,husband found out,went mad and we had to stop contact with each other.
5 years on,still felt the urge to contact him again,so I did as I never forgot him.....and again started messaging him and he did with me.
We finally met up and it was one of the best nights of my life......I never wanted it to end.We ended up kissing and I told him I loved him and always did.
What I feel for this man is something I never have felt with my husband......I'm in love with him,I know I am...but I don't think he ever has been with me and it's so so hard.
Since then the messages have died down and I feel he is slipping away from my life again and I can bear it,I'm so unhappy......I dread the thought of him finding someone and falling in love with her ( he's separated from his wife).
I just want him here with me,I wanted to marry him,I adore him and I would of treated him so well...but he walked away from me all those years ago.
I'm in such a mess with my life........I never thought it would have turned out this way and me pining over another man,I just want these feelings to go away...but they just won't....I am obsessed with the man and think I always will be..........life is hard sometimes.

Comments for Still in love after 21 years.............

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Oct 02, 2012
Still in love after 21 years.........
by: Doreen U.K.

You are playing with fire. WE sometimes can't avoid how we feel about another person. You should go into counselling until you can get over your obsession for your first love.
Think what you are doing to your husband and children? This man is separated from his wife He is in a different place to you. He is not committed to his marriage as you are. Many women arent' still madly in love with their husbands, especially after having children. But many women still love their husbands and committed to them. You have to decide whether you think it is worth leaving your husband for this man? You will also have to process whether this man will stay committed to you and your children? He might wander off. Because He can. Who will you have then to pick up the pieces? Would you go back to your husband? Once the relationship is broken it will be harder to repair.
This other man has already stopped texting you and has put some distance between you and him. What does this say to you? Change your way of thinking and perhaps your mindset will change and you will put all your love and energy into your marriage and children and just see this as an experience that shouldn't have happened. I hope it all works out well and that you will have made the best decision for all of you.

Oct 02, 2012
STOP!
by: Judith in California

Nothing good ever comes from an emotional affair or physical one. Your Husband deserves an honest ,loving, caring, relationship with his wife and the mother of his children. Please focus on being faithful and caring for your clueless family.
The guy is right to never speak to you again. HE ,at least, realizes it is wrong...so should you. You said your marriage vows in front of God and you must keep your word and think about that day and how you felt. Think of the days you gave birth to your children and your husband being there with you. Why would you hurt him?
How would you like it if your husband were in love with another woman? How would you feel about your husband contacting an old flame on facebook and loving her all over again.
If you won't be faithful and you have a good husband then let him go and someone else will be glad to take him.

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