Still in love after 21 years.............
Iam writing this story all alone in my bed and feel so emotional right now with everything!.
Im 37 years old,married to a wonderful man and have 2 lovely children age 6 and 8.... you could say that my life couldn't be better..........but,
Im madly in love with my first true love from 21 years ago and it's crazy an is making me so sad.I'm lying to my husband as he hasn't a clue about my feelings for this other person.I feel awful but can't help how I feel.
I've never forgot him,I tried to contact him just before I got married but failed to do so,if I had contacted him I know I wouldn't of got married as he would of unsettled me and I know I would of wanted to be with him...it's utter madness!.
5 years ago I discovered Facebook,contacted him,we exchanged a few messages,went out for a drink,chatted,I fell in love all over again,husband found out,went mad and we had to stop contact with each other.
5 years on,still felt the urge to contact him again,so I did as I never forgot him.....and again started messaging him and he did with me.
We finally met up and it was one of the best nights of my life......I never wanted it to end.We ended up kissing and I told him I loved him and always did.
What I feel for this man is something I never have felt with my husband......I'm in love with him,I know I am...but I don't think he ever has been with me and it's so so hard.
Since then the messages have died down and I feel he is slipping away from my life again and I can bear it,I'm so unhappy......I dread the thought of him finding someone and falling in love with her ( he's separated from his wife).
I just want him here with me,I wanted to marry him,I adore him and I would of treated him so well...but he walked away from me all those years ago.
I'm in such a mess with my life........I never thought it would have turned out this way and me pining over another man,I just want these feelings to go away...but they just won't....I am obsessed with the man and think I always will be..........life is hard sometimes.