Still Miss My Sweet Rusty!!

by Cindy Kendrick

My Sweet Rusty!!

My Sweet Rusty!!

I lost my husband on November 15, 2010, after being married for almost 35 years. I am so lost and my heart hurts more than I could ever imagine. I was 18 and he was 28 when we got married on February 7, 1976, and a week later we both celebrated our birthdays, mine on the 15th and his on the 19th. We went together for one month, he asked me to marry him and a month later we got married!

He was the love of my life and best friend. He treated me wonderful, telling me every night before we went to sleep that Jesus loved me. Not a day went by that he would tell me how very much he loved me and how beautiful I was. He told me he would spoil me until the day he died and he did. He had been very healthy all his life, jogging and we recently bought bikes.

He went to work one Monday morning, felt like he had a headache and I guess he passed out. One of the guys went over and shook him and I guess it stimulated his heart. To make a long story short, they did emergency quadruple bypass surgery. One artery 100% blocked and the other three 95%. He made it through surgery, although he went into afib and they controlled that with meds.

I had him home for two weeks and he was doing wonderful and he sat down in his chair and said he felt dizzy and just fell backwards. My brother was here and did CPR and I was doing chest compressions. We got him down on the floor and the paramedics got here and worked on him for about 30 minutes. I keep yelling to him to please don't leave me and I loved him. They took him to the hospital but I never brought him home.

He was the best husband and daddy I could ever ask for. He blessed me with two beautiful children. I never knew I could have so much grief in my life. My heart hurts beyond words. I love you Rusty and I know you are waiting for me at Jesus' feet. I just don't understand why he was taken away from me. We had a wonderful marriage....

January 31, 2010.. It has been two months and the grief is still stabbing me like a knife. I have been crying for two days. I miss Rusty so much... he was such a wonderful man and I miss his hugs & kisses so very much! I have been listening to K LOVE and it blesses me with all the Christian music. I hear the words and a lot of them are my life. I just can't wait to be with Rusty again because I know he is waiting for me at Jesus' feet! I love you so much sweetheart. His birthday would have been February 19th and he would have turned 64. Our anniversary would have been February 7th and we would have been married 35 years. Till we meet again honey, Happy Anniversary & Happy Birthday!! I love you with all my heart...

Comments for Still Miss My Sweet Rusty!!

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Mar 23, 2011
I too lost my Rusty age 47
by: tn

My Rusty and I were married 20 years. We dated 5 years before we married and had 3 children(15,14, and our surprise is now 5). He was my best friend too. I miss so bad having to make decisions that I am not sure what to do. We always discussed the little things. It made me feel better to just know we were on the same page.
He had problems about 4 years before this with high blood pressure and was on meds for this. Jan. 19, 2011 I received a phone call from his boss that he didn't show up for work. I work close to home and after calling him several times and his parents who just live a block away, I wasn't able to get him so I left work to run home and check on him. The whole time I am telling myself he is fine. He probably just fell asleep watching Sports Center. I would not let anything else enter my mind. I found him in the bathroom had just gotten out of shower on the floor. It was too late for him. I just hope he went suddenly and didn't suffer. My world has changed so much and I too miss him soo much. I have 2 teenagers and a 5 year old to raise. I teach school and do not make much money and now all the responsibilities are on me. He had no life insurance, so I am just trying to make it one day at a time. I am so blessed to have great friends and family who have been there for me financially and to lean on for guidance. How do you know if your kids are doing okay. It is so hard on all of us. My in-laws are so close to us and are grieving too. Together we are trying to make it. I feel your pain and know you are not alone. Take care and thanks for sharing.

Mar 14, 2011
Cinky K - stay strong
by: Anonymous

I feel so for you. There just aren't enough words to express such sorrow for your loss. You will know when it's time to move on. Your friends want to be there for you and know that you are safe. Please stay strong. You will know when and what you need to move on. If I can talk with you, I'd do anything you ask me to do. Keep talking.

Feb 01, 2011
True Love is a Gift
by: TrishJ

Oh Lord~your story is so much like mine. I lost my husband on December 3, 2010. He was on the heart transplant list and we had such high hopes that he would get better. Sometimes I have to remind myself that he's actually gone. It's been two months and I still think he's going to call my name and tell me he needs something. My poor Joe suffered so for the past 18 months ~ he didn't want to leave us. He fought so hard to stay with us. We were married for 37 years. I had the best. He was a great father, wonderful husband, always so full of life. Always supported me 100%. I'm so lost without him. I feel like I just don't know what I want to do with my life. I miss him so much it hurts. I'm trying to move forward but for right now ~ I can't. I'm not going to push myself either. I just to sit here an remember the wonderful times we had together. I'm tired of people telling me this is my time ~ it's time to move on. I don't want to move on right now. I want sit and feel my husband's presence and remember how much he loved me (and feel sorry for myself for having lost the love of my life). My bedroom right now is wall to wall pictures of him, us, our children, all of us together. When I'm ready to move on I will. I'm not ready right now. You shouldn't push yourself either. You will know when you're ready. Hugs, hugs, and blessings to you.

Feb 01, 2011
I know your pain Cindy
by: Debbiek

I know what you are going through, or sort of going through. I was married 38 years and almost without any heads up I lost the love of my life. I couldn't believe it at first he was gone but now I know he is.

It's a day by day process. Each day I literally say "I made it through another day" and the pain subsides a little. But just when you think you are okay you get thrown a curve ball. It is all about the grieving process which is different for every one. You will get through this, it won't be easy but you will be a stronger person for it. Find comfort in knowing you aren't alone in this.

I have found so much comfort since finding this site. It some how makes it easier to deal with knowing there are others out there that know the pain you are going through and understand how you feel.

You are not alone, and know you will get through this...

Feb 01, 2011
still miss my sweet Rusty
by: jules

Cindy - you may not realise it, but you are getting there - of course you still love him, of course you miss him - you probably will for the rest of your life. But this is YOUR life, live it the best way you can - and the way Rusty would want you to.

That is a gorgeous photo of Rusty.

One step - one breath
take care

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