still trying to cope

by jean

i lost my husband, both parents, and several friends in less than three years. my dad was last one to pass away...a year and 8 months ago. I still miss them SO MUCH. sometimes it feels like its happened just yesterday. I went to the hospital recently to help my neighbors and we were there for 12 hours. that's one of the hardest things ive ever done. im glad I did it for them, but I kept thinking about the time I spent in whatever facility they kept my husband in during the time he had cancer. I just wanted to cry, and run out of that place. also it brought back the times I spent with my dad when he was in the hospital. im glad for the time with both of them and glad I could help my husband and my dad. the time I spent with my dad the last 1 !/2 yrs of his life were such a blessing. I loved being with him and talking to him. and it was such a pleasure to be able to take care of him. I told him it was the best time of my life. and I told him he was the best person ive ever met. I miss him sooo much. the kindest, funniest, smartest, strongest person ive ever known...and I was lucky enough to call him Dad!! after my husband and my mother passed away, Dad helped me through it. we helped each other. he was my best friend. I am blessed to have my son, his dad( first husband), my brother and his family,my precious friends, my counselor at hospice, my husbands three beautiful daughters, and the One who is with me always..God. but its still so hard. I go through the motions some days and some days are ok. this is quite a crazy, painful journey....

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Sep 28, 2014
Hi Jean, I need your help!
by: Jennie

I am so very sorry for the losses you have endured, my sincerest condolences. We have transitioned to a new system, and for better access to advice and support, please click on "The Grief Club" button on the left for access to the new Forum. We want to keep this great online grief resource going and need your help! Please re-post this or put a new submission there. All your friends are waiting...

Hi Pat from Green Bay, and Anonymous MI:

Could you please contact me via "Contact Us" button to the left? I need your help also for the transition. Thanks so much!

Sep 23, 2014
still trying to cope
by: Doreen UK

Jean I am so sorry for your losse of family and friends.
To lose a husband is the worst experience of my life when I nursed him through the worst cancer for over 3yrs. and he died 2yrs. ago I could not function for 6 months.
For you it has been worse losing parents on top of a husband. Losing a close family structure. Even though you hve family and friend to help you through your life it will never be quite the same. Everyone goes on to live out their lives whilst we struggle each day to cope with grief pain that seems to take forever to shift.
I am still trying to cope each day with all it's many chanllenges and adversity.
Having God at the helm of my life is what keeps me going. But in life God knows we need people in our life. Companionship, and Love to function well as people. Knowing we will see our loved one's again does help so much but we will have to live out the rest of our days as best as we can. The best way forward is by taking ONE DAY AT A TIME. We face new challenges each day but with God's strength and help we get through it all. This is the sad part of life, that death come as a package. Our children will go through these motions and we can somehow now help them so that when they go through their own grief they will see us as role models.
Father's are our nurturers as we go through life, and if they do their job well it can somehow help us cope better with our grief. But we will have to go through the motions of grief as we lose loved one's. May God be with you and comfort you in your grief and give you His Peace.

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