still trying to cope
i lost my husband, both parents, and several friends in less than three years. my dad was last one to pass away...a year and 8 months ago. I still miss them SO MUCH. sometimes it feels like its happened just yesterday. I went to the hospital recently to help my neighbors and we were there for 12 hours. that's one of the hardest things ive ever done. im glad I did it for them, but I kept thinking about the time I spent in whatever facility they kept my husband in during the time he had cancer. I just wanted to cry, and run out of that place. also it brought back the times I spent with my dad when he was in the hospital. im glad for the time with both of them and glad I could help my husband and my dad. the time I spent with my dad the last 1 !/2 yrs of his life were such a blessing. I loved being with him and talking to him. and it was such a pleasure to be able to take care of him. I told him it was the best time of my life. and I told him he was the best person ive ever met. I miss him sooo much. the kindest, funniest, smartest, strongest person ive ever known...and I was lucky enough to call him Dad!! after my husband and my mother passed away, Dad helped me through it. we helped each other. he was my best friend. I am blessed to have my son, his dad(..my first husband), my brother and his family,my precious friends, my counselor at hospice, my husbands three beautiful daughters, and the One who is with me always..God. but its still so hard. I go through the motions some days and some days are ok. this is quite a crazy, painful journey....